The journey has me in Montana. I flew here yesterday and drove 3 hours to get to the district I’ve agreed to work with a couple days a month this year. I was here last month to only get acquainted with the district and to meet the superintendent, get to know him and his hopes and dreams for the district. Yesterday I met with the rest of the admin team supporting the buildings. Today I will meet with the site admin teams during the am and pm. I will then meet tomorrow with all of them together so we can determine the actual goals we want met throughout this school year. The bottom line is always to be the students’ learning. However, one thing we know well is that if a teacher or admin is struggling with their relationship with one another, student learning suffers. So I will start here.

As I was processing all of the above with God this morning I was taken back when God reminded me how much easier this work is today now that He and I have a more secure relationship. I use to say that God may have created me but He didn’t really like this creation very much or He’d stood His ground with him when he was younger. My relationship with Him didn’t come close to the trust I have in Him today. Little did I know how much my Heavenly Father grieved during those abusive years. Now that I understand and rely on God’s leading more fully I can rely on my trust with Him as I do this work. He truly is AMAZING and as I do this work the results are also more amazing to watch as He leads.

Today the journey brings a smile to my face as I begin to write this entry. I am enthralled with the teachings of Jesus to His disciples as I continue to read in Matthew. I also love the way Joyce Meyer brings practical reality to the scriptures both in her own life and for the lives of others. How often do I forgive my earthly father as memories come up–“seventy times seven”. How often do I forgive my brother–the same. Do I let the memories haunt me and trigger hatred and bitterness? Or, do I let these memories remind me of Jesus’ teachings to His disciples–forgive as the Father has forgiven you–seventy times seven.

God is making very clear that there is nothing I should be hanging onto as far as sinful acts done in the past. He has forgiven them and I am to do the same no matter how often Satan tries to have me do the opposite. In fact, just reminding Satan that I am a follower of Almighty God and He is making me into the likeness of His Son Jesus empowers me to want to forgive. Through forgiveness and through prayer I can have on “earth what is in heaven”. The more I get to know my Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus and His Gift–The Holy Spirit, the more I understand having on earth what I will have in abundance in heaven.

Doesn’t this wonderful reality bring a smile to your face? It sure does mine!

This morning is one where sleep wasn’t to continue past 4:00 am. It wasn’t as though I’d gone to bed at 8 pm. God just needed to talk with me and have me do some listening. Yesterday, when I got home from the school district about 4:00 pm, I picked 5 gals of blackberries and called my niece who was taking them. They don’t live very far from me so they were here in about 15 minutes. Her husband was with her. Her husband is the one battling cancer. His body is being treated weekly with IV chemo prepping for a major surgery for the 2nd time. I am going to their place tonight to pray and anoint him for healing. After his first surgery (stem-cell transplant) the cancer went into remission. It’s back.

As I was having my devotions this morning I was reading in Matthew 16 & 17. These are powerful chapters where Christ is preparing His disciples for his crucifixion and resurrection. He wanted them to know that He came to die, but to not just die, but to die so that He could rise again and in so doing–overcome the permanence of sin in death once and for all, for all of us. There is more to living that this fleshly living, there is eternal living to follow which Christ Jesus made possible for everyone of us.

What was standing out to me in reading these chapters was that we aren’t to just live to be alive in our flesh, we are to be alive to live for Jesus in our flesh. Until my own recovery I have lived to die. I was of the belief that only in death could I be free of my past’s bondage. In these most recent years where freedom is alive have I found the truth of being alive to live. I don’t know the outcome of my nephew’s life, but I do know God is wanting him healed to be alive each and every day living for Him! God has a time for all of us. But, until that time He wants us to be fully alive for Him. This is my own awakening and I want the Light of Jesus to awaken this truth for all of us.

Yesterday turned into a leisurely, yet emotionally difficult day. Our class, Mending the Soul, did much of the lesson on the make up of an abusive home. It reawakened so many dysfunctional memories of unmet needs and the ugly memories of sheer physical and mental/emotional abuse. Then, last night I happened to watch on TV the movie, “I Can Only Imagine”. Good grief, it was like pouring salt into an open wound that had been freshly reopened. I ached as I went to bed wondering what I was to do with all of this pain? This morning as I entered my devotional time my emotions had subsided and I was able to hear God tell me to place all of them into the same “safe place” I put all of those memories while in therapy. He reminded me that those memories are of a time past. I don’t need to be shackled by them if I give them to Him. I gave them away and all is at peace–Praise God.

Today I return to the cycle of school district work. I had an introduction to this last Friday, but today is the formal beginning of the new year. I give this to God and ask Him to take the lead. I am His servant and I choose to make Him my Master. What a magnificent God we serve!

Wow, summer is progressing and August has arrived. With it was a beautiful change in weather last night. The clouds rolled in while the sunlight was still with us and the rain began. The temperature dropped and I was a happy man! There is nothing like a good rain to clear the air and a person’s spirit.

I keep coming to God in the early mornings with the same concern–am I overcommitted this year? I am getting older and my stamina isn’t the same as it had been. Am I making decisions at an emotional level thinking You are leading them? When I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, He instantly placed in my mind the following: “The journey’s road is often uphill and laborious. However, when you have your eyes solely on Me and not on the road you will not even notice the climb. You will only know the joys of serving Me and watching the results of this service.” God sure knows what one needs to hear!

I have a nephew by marriage whose cancer has returned. It is a vicious kind which requires chemo, isolation, surgery and more isolation. This he conquered a few years ago. Now, it has returned. His wife, my niece, asked if I’d pray for him the first of next week as I go deliver blackberries to them. I said I would, of course. As I went into my prayer time this morning and asking God what I should pray over him, He reminded me that His Spirit within me would give me the words at the proper time. I started to question this for at the moment I didn’t sense God’s Spirit within me. Then, the simple word TRUST came to the forefront of my mind and stayed there. Once again, God sure knows what one needs to hear!

It is amazing how stepping away from an issue or a problem and then returning to it helps one to see the right next step. This is definitely the case with the drama of man. I was given a most troubling situation last evening, one that keeps you awake and then causing dreams during the night. However, when I awoke this morning there was a text from the person showing the simple answer to the drama–Give it to Jesus and Trust Him with it. As I was reading in Matthew this morning I read about the drama given to Him by the Pharisees condemning Him for the good works He was doing. It is amazing how He simply puts it in perspective with scriptural truths. This is what happens when we step away from drama connected to issues and problems which men create. Giving oneself time to let your own emotions subside so God can speak to you is always the right thing to do. God always has the right course for us to take.

Today begins my time with schools. I meet with one of the high schools today and then one of the superintendents for a lunch meeting about her district. The time at home has been a good refreshment and a time to listen to Jesus knowing all of this is to honor Him. He has reinforced over and over that this work is led by Him if I only keep my eyes and ears focused on Him rather than the issues of man. He already knows these issues and knows how He wants them addressed. I can know His heart if I listen and then respond as He nudges.

Earlier this week when we were still in Joseph, OR I talked at length with Kathy’s brother Dwight. He was encouraging me to check into doing the course work for a biblical counseling license. This is what he has done and he saw this as a good tool for myself. Since getting home I have let the “other voices” go through my head which only condemn this action saying things like, “Here we go again, trying to do what’s going to make you more important.” Last night in share group I told the men about the seed Dwight had planted encouraging me. My reason for sharing it however wasn’t for any reason except to hear some kind of supportive statement afterwards. I was seeking man’s approval rather than God’s. God’s Holy Spirit checked me this morning reminding me that this is about Him and me. If this is to take place, He will open the door. The approval of man is not to be my motivation to move on this. As I prayed I repented of this selfishness. I only want to serve Him.

Once again today I am challenged by this book of Matthew. There is so much to glean from it. I’ve never read this book before and had Jesus’ words and actions speak to me the way they are now. It truly is not about knowing what Jesus said and did, it is far more about transforming me in how I “speak and do”.

In the scripture Matthew 9:13 it says, “Go and learn what this means; I desire mercy and not sacrifice and sacrificial victims….” Joyce, in her writing, says that mercy is kindness and I know that kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit. As I tie this scripture to yesterday’s message about “do not judge,” I hear a distinct command and that is to show mercy (kindness) instead of judgment.

A few weeks ago I had a lady talk to me about her husband. They are separated after many years of marriage. He had been sexually abused by an older cousin during his childhood and had many issues due to this not being addressed. She had sent him my book and he told her he was beginning to slowly read it. Recently, I talked again to this lady. During the talk I could see how her approach to his issues could be stifling to him rather than helpful. I wanted to tell her just what she ought to be saying and not saying–I was feeling judgment towards her and not kindness. I didn’t say much of anything except to acknowledge that God’s Work takes time. I know our paths will cross again soon, and this time I’m ready to talk without the sense of judgment. My word, she is judging herself too much already. Judgment has been replaced in my heart with mercy for her. I can sense kindness now after today’s devotional time with Jesus. A sad thing to have to admit, but it is true. I ask God to forgive my moment of judgment.

As I began to read Matthew 8 this morning I found I couldn’t move past this chapter. My word, it contains so much insight into living for Jesus that I could hardly finish the full chapter. I loved the insight Joyce Meyer gave. She wrote that living the broad road is living where we respond to our emotions and our own desires. Yes, we believe in Jesus but our walk is far more driven by our earthly self. The narrow road is walked being led by the Spirit and they obey the Spirit rather than their own emotions. I love this insight. God’s Spirit has been working on this with me for several years and I finally see it this morning.

There is one other insight today that I truly needed. It is about how the chapter starts–judging others. There is a subtle difference in how we speak and pray for others which either keeps judging in the prayer or removes it. Let me give an example. I have some folks on my prayer list that I pray for each day. I pray something like, “Jesus, help them to see the Light You want them to follow. I know it is hard for them, but please help them to overcome their obstacles…” As I read this morning’s scripture and Joyce’s description of low and high road, I was checked by God’s Spirit to change my prayers. I need to pray Trusting and Believing. An example, “God I know Your Spirit is working in _______’s life. I thank you for what The Holy Spirit is doing and the overcoming that awaits them.” My entire mindset changes when I pray believing, rather than pray with little hope. I needed this insight.

As I have begun to read the book of Matthew I am reminded what a tremendous guide it is for daily living out our Christian walk. Pray specifically, pray privately and humbly, do good deeds without public notice, be free of anxiety, trust instead. My word, if we were to live daily like this it would make living much easier–particularly the worry one. The next chapter begins with the verse about judging. I only looked at this. I can deal with it tomorrow for today I know God wants me to look and deal deeply with the one about worry.

I have never liked to think of myself as a worrisome person, but I know that inside I fret and stew about things. I believe these two words are just another way of saying–worry. I don’t often let them stop me from moving forward, but I do waste a good deal of my “thinking time” with them. I know that I need to address details regarding all the different tasks being done, but to address these with worry is wrong. It truly is an absence of trust and this is what God I know is wanting me to address. I believe this is my next and immediate assignment.