I am presently reading Hebrews in The Passion translation of the Bible. In the 3rd chapter there is a section entitled “Secrets from Psalm 95”. It starts with, “This is why the Holy Spirit says….” There is a footnote tied to this passage. It reads, “Notice the truth that the Bible is the Holy Spirit of God speaking to us.”

I’ve always known that the Bible is God’s Word and that the Word is alive and active. Somehow I’d never made the connection until this morning that these words of the Bible are The Holy Spirit speaking to me each and every day as I read them. I use to read the Bible each and every day so that I could read through the Bible in a year’s time. I would measure the success of my Bible reading by this accomplishment. Today I read the Bible in much shorter passage because I want to grasp the full message God has for me in it. It seemed to be growth I thought to do this, but knowing that the Holy Spirit is speaking to me brings forth another one of those intimate moments with Him I just hadn’t understood.

Further into this chapter it says, “They wandered in their hearts just like they do with their feet….” This too hit me. I have questioned so many times in my heart if God were working. I’d walk as though I believed, but in my heart I didn’t trust. God has been showing me how important it is to TRUST Him fully. I know I’m not done with this lesson, but I praise the Holy Spirit for opening my eyes to this reality today. How much I love Him!

Yesterday I completed the on-line class I was taking to prepare me for the biblical counseling ministry. Just taking it took me back into the days when I was completing my graduate work for school administration. That was 47 years ago. I’ve taken many courses since that time, but none that required the depth of work this one did. However, the learning from the class is deeply appreciated and has helped to show me just how important it is to counsel always with Jesus’ healing work in mind.

As I thinking last night about the fact the class is done I figured I would sleep well. Actually I did sleep well until 4:30 am. There seemed to be more God was wanting me to know. When I published my autobiography in 2015 I did this to let others know they didn’t need to live in the bondage of their past. I look back at this time 7 years later to see the bondage I felt when the book came out. I remember thinking that I’d just opened myself to the world and I was not ready to face this.

During these past 7 years God has helped me to move from sharing my past to believing in the present and future. In so doing, use the past to help others to see how one can surrender the bondage and accept forgiveness and grace. Then, begin to realize there is an entirely different day and future for them when everything they do is no longer bound by chains of the past.

There is no freedom like that which Jesus Christ provides. This is the goal of biblical counseling. I’m so grateful for Christ’s faithfulness and patience helping a grandpa find this for himself and now having the opportunity to pass this enlightenment on to others.

The power of praise. This was this morning’s devotional message. Praise is the foundation of Faith. If we want to grow our faith we will do so by praising God in the midst of any storm knowing and believing the outcome of the storm will be led by God. As I was reading all of this I had already journaled about all of the concerns of yesterday which were carrying into this morning. I took a picture of the devotional message and sent it to one of the ones who’d confided a good deal of issues to me yesterday.

So often I forget this foundational piece of my walk with God. I even have PRAISE written at the top of my prayer list to remind me to begin my prayer time with praise. Yet, my praise is far too often without substance. So, this morning I praised God specifically for the list of yesterday’s issues knowing that the miracles of God’s work do and will take place. Satan wants so much to keep us focused on issues downplaying the immensity of God’s Kingdom Work. I needed today’s reminder and am so grateful for God’s faithfulness. I want to give Him my faithfulness in praising Him always.

I always thought that having to confess my use of porn was the ugliest confession of all. However, I have recently discovered one even greater–PRIDE. I’ve written in the last couple of entries about my need to confront a character flaw in me I’ve hated, but hung onto. I know the flaw and confessed it. This morning as I was journaling I asked Jesus to reveal the root of this flaw. It is one thing to confess, but it is entirely another thing to let it go so it doesn’t take root in your behaviors again.

When I was ending my journaling I asked the question I always ask at the end of each journal entry: “What do you want me to know from you for today, Jesus?” His response was immediate as it is each day. He graciously pointed out that the root of my character flaw is pride. Pride was what kept me living in a secret all of my life until Celebrate Recovery. Pride was what kept me using porn thinking I couldn’t overcome this due to my past so just accept it as something one must cope with. Pride was what fueled the actions of this present character flaw. In fact, Jesus pointed out that I did this so I could be “superior” in my thinking in one area of my life believing I’ve been inferior all of these years.

The reason this is so important at this point in my life is knowing how I saw my pride. If my pride never measured up to the ugliness of dad’s pride, then I was ok in my thinking. When my grandson pointed out to me a couple of days ago what my actions look like to my family I was able to see that my measuring stick needed to shift to God’s measuring stick. Man’s pride is always sinful when it is used for his own selfishness. Knowing this root, accepting the truth of this root, I can now surrender it to Jesus as my sin and act on The Holy Spirit’s nudges when He’s pointing out to me what I’ve wanted to ignore in the past.

Thank you, Thank you JESUS!

There’s an area of my life I have not been able to address. I’d given up on ever being able to do anything about it so I had resolved to just put up with it. Last night our oldest grandson was having an in-depth conversation with grandma and me. He said he needed to have a hard conversation with us. In so doing he pointed out this behavior of mine as very hurtful to the grandkids and to our kids. He thought all of our kids had tried to let me know how this bothered them, but it hadn’t made any difference. He wanted me to know that they all love grandma and me, and they didn’t want to someday have me pass having never addressed this.

I’ve known this behavior of mine. I can go way back into my childhood and identify it there. I deeply appreciated my grandson outlining the consequences of “not addressing the root of it”. Last Saturday I had journaled about this behavior telling God I wanted to do something about it and asked Him to let me know what I could do or should do. Well, it was nicely addressed last night and today I can act on it.

There is something powerful about surrendering what we cannot do ourselves to the Almighty God and letting Him focus us on the steps we are to take. I’ve said so many times that life is a huge lesson. Each day is an assignment. Today I have clarity on this assignment that I didn’t know how to complete until now. God is so GOOD!

Tomorrow begins the actual start of our counseling program. I will be finishing my course this coming week for the certification, but more than anything, it begins for me a start into the world of helps I thought this man I am could never do. How God changes one’s life so dramatically!

The counseling program won’t be formally announced until next Sunday where it will be outlined and a flyer included in the worship folder. Having this week to get counseling space worked out and set up along with starting a couple of counseling sessions I’ll do on my own, will be the focus of the week. It is the first time I’ve ever started something new where I haven’t felt equipped, but instead, I start with believing. God is so gracious and good to use every last struggle of my life to now glorify Himself. What an honor to be able to be a part of this Kingdom work.

Every once in a while I have someone close to me point out a character flaw. I’ve been a part of Celebrate Recovery long enough to know a good deal about character flaws. I listen to a good number of folks talk about their own. I pray with them and provide support as I can. So, this time, when I had this flaw pointed out to me I thought it is time to deal with it. I’ve attributed my flaws to my abuse, however, I think it is more just a part of my personality–the way I’m wired. Either way, it needs Godly attention.

This morning in my journaling I began to write about this character flaw and asking Jesus to help me with it. The first thing He pointed out is that I need to surrender it. I can’t change it, only He can. During this processing time He reminded me that He, the Great Healer, lives within me and I dwell in The Holy Spirit as He is a living part of me. I can discipline myself for a period of time, but the volcano will erupt at some point and I’m back realizing I can do nothing on my own (as though that is a new reality!).

So, this morning, I surrendered this flaw to Jesus. i know I’m a new creation and this is just one more reality I’m awakening to as I journey now as this new being in Jesus Christ.

Outside of an hour delay in Dallas we got home without a hitch. Our grandson has an appointment with his own doctor right after lunch today so we can take care of this issue here at home. God is good!

I crawled into bed last night at 11:58 pm glad I was home and looking forward to getting my yard caught up today. When I got up this morning I saw a note on my desk saying oil change and suddenly remembered I’d made one prior to leaving last week. It takes 30 mins to get here and I had 35 mins at the time I saw the note. I certainly got ready in a hurry and made it. So this is being written at the Toyota dealership.

Mostly today I want to thank God for his unfailing love and care. I’ve learned so much about this in the past couple of years. I never want to take it for granted.

Well, the casual day I expected yesterday as our last day in Florida, turned into a much different one. Our 2nd grandson who we brought with us for his high school graduation present, was having some stomach issues. We stopped at a pharmacy to talk with the pharmacist to see what he’d suggest. We got a couple of items which Hayden, grandson, took. By noontime, he was feeling worse so we went to quick care. They sent us on to the ER unit down the road a mile. We spent about 4 hours there where they did a CT scan and blood work. They had Hayden transported by ambulance to their main hospital to be examined by a surgeon to see if what the scan showed needed surgery. All this time I kept telling the ones at the ER we were to leave tomorrow and we needed to know if this issue could wait and be treated back home. No one seemed to hear this.

As Kathy and I drove to the hospital where Hayden had been transported, we stopped at the hotel to get a couple things we’d want for the hospital. In so doing we both reached out for prayer. I had our church prayer chain enacted along with contacting relatives. Kathy did the same. We ended up being at the hospital for another 5 hours. It was there that a nurse realized we wanted to head home if this isn’t something that could wait. The hospital was intending to admit Hayden and have the surgeon talk with us the next day. This nurse and another one got a doctor to finally talk with us. He said there was no reason to stay there. He released us and said to have Hayden’s doctor take care of this when we got home.

There’s much more to this story, but the lesson I learned was the importance of reaching out for prayer. Kathy initiated the thought when we got to the hotel. I’m always a little reticent to tell something like this, but at that point, I was feeling quite helpless. Within minutes we had hundreds praying and family continuously reaching out to us. A few hours later we were back in our room.

My lesson–my words were heard when I had surrendered my helplessness by reaching out. I needed this lesson.

Today will be our last full day in Florida. It has certainly been a wonderful trip. I came with one thing in mind–support my graduating grandson. Along with that, I got to meet some of his close friends and spend time with them, spend a great deal of time with my own family members who also came, and experience some highlights totally unintended–parasailing.

My grandson left early this morning to head to Idaho. He will stop at our daughter’s place in Oklahoma City tonight and then head to Denver where he has a friend who will house him for the second night. It will be Idaho on Friday. God is so good at taking care of every detail. I am learning this lesson over and over. I was reminiscing this morning with Jesus about how He has changed me from one who continuously doubted His love for me to someone who can’t stop thanking Him for the endless love He has for me. The world needs to know that our God cares!