Today my youngest daughter turns a year older. Little did I know when God gave us this gift what lessons He wanted me to learn from her. She has always seen the world through a different lens than myself and what I had thought was important, well, it was only important to folks who agreed that it was important. She doesn’t stress over what I’d stress and yet she stresses over what I would not. In all of this we have loved one another and I have thanked God a thousand+ times for this GIFT she has been.

There is much God has been wanting me to learn of late. The most recent lesson centers around what a new creation looks like who is maturing in Faith, Trust and Hope. I have been seeing so many times where I will say I’ve given this or that to God, but in reality, I have just let it go and quit caring about it. God is bringing to mind the importance of living in Faith–Believing that even when I see nothing developing, He is actively working. It is like a seed has been planted in me and it’s starting to take root. I’m now starting to better understand my role in always believing and work much more on my doubting.

I’ve been fighting a summer cold the last couple of days and today, I think I’m going to win. It is breaking up. In years past I would have thought that God was giving me a sign to quit doing what I was doing or working on when a sickness hit. (I rarely have this happen). However, this time, I just chalked it up to being a grandpa who is getting older and needs to take care of himself. The new creation I am is still in a body of flesh.

Yesterday I wrote about the need to wait for God’s timetable and do so in faith believing He is working. This is the case for me with a couple of people needing help but they aren’t seemingly ready to receive the help without wanting to stay in control. I think we call this hitting rock bottom. I know God is working even when there isn’t any evidence man can see. I’m trusting God for I know He loves these men and I know they want to serve Him, but struggles have them occupied in controlling ways. I pray this rock bottom will hit sooner than later.

I had a very interesting devotional time this morning. As I began to journal it didn’t seem there was too much to address with Jesus so I quickly wrote my daily question to Him–“What do you want me to know from You for today?” He asked me how I knew what I write each day from Him is actually from Him? I found this interesting because I had never questioned this voice and message. I told Him it started when I was addressing the young Earnie and over the months the voice messages seemed to grow into ones of wisdom. The messages never went against scripture and would always complete or support scripture promises.

As I began to read my devotional, its title was “True Faith Knows How to Wait”. Its message was learning to trust God’s Word and His Voice. When the message sought doesn’t come, it simply means to wait. When other other voices/messages come use the Shield of Faith to distinguish them.

Lastly, as I went to God’s Word, the chapter title was “Living by Faith”, II Corinthians 5. God is bringing out the importance of this chapter’s title–Living by Faith. Trusting God’s timing is often a stretch for we all like to have our wants/desires met even when they seem to be unselfish ones: our children’s safety and decisions, the choices of those seeking help from us, etc. God’s message to wait for His Work to complete itself and have complete faith in His Work is my message for today.

LET FREEDOM RING! As I was journaling this morning and thanking God for our freedom, He reminded me that the greater freedom wasn’t from our forefathers fighting. The greater freedom was from His Son’s Crucifixion and Resurrection from the Cross. The one freedom is man’s freedom which is temporary, the other is eternal freedom. God’s freedom is not fought for, it is asked for. Asking Jesus into your life is as simple as that.

Today I celebrate our country’s freedom, but more than that, today I celebrate eternal life with freedom only found from surrender rather than fighting. What an amazing twist God does on all of man’s efforts.

Today is another glorious day. I spent yesterday getting a host of yard work done that didn’t have to be done, but if one is a gardener, one can’t just let these things go–dead heading roses, pruning back plants that are overtaking their area and robbing others of their rightful spots, etc. It sounds a little goofy when I write it here, but for me, I don’t rest well when these things need attention. Today, I feel much better having all of that done.

This morning’s devotions has brought to light the importance of God’s Holy Spirit. In the second book of Corinthians, Paul is writing that the word Lord doesn’t always mean Jesus Christ. In the case of II Corinthians 3:17 this clarity is brought out. I know that The Holy Spirit is my Gift from Jesus Christ coming into my life. However, even though this reality has been appreciated, it has not been very well understood by me. I have always wanted a richer connection to The Holy Spirit in my life and now I am beginning to see that often times when I think Jesus is nudging me, it is The Holy Spirit. In fact, the intimacy I wrote about yesterday is something I’d love to find with The Holy Spirit.

How I love this TEAM we get to serve: God my Father, Jesus my Savior and Lord, and The Holy Spirit, my Lord and Guide. Growing into deeper and deeper relationship with them is life’s greatest Gift here on earth. How fortunate we are to live this side of the Cross instead of on the side of the laws and sacrifices.

Today God is teaching me something I’ve resisted most of my life–intimacy. I know the importance of this word’s application to life, but I’ve only trusted it at arm’s length when it came to me personally. As I was journaling this morning I was reflecting on the nice day yesterday was with family. Along with this I had a couple hundred messages on Facebook from classmates, students, friends and family which were reminders of relationships I’ve loved. I was thanking God for this. I then wrote that I appreciated our friendship and likened our friendship to mentoring. A friend often is one who gives good guidance when we need to hear it and does it in a way that makes one want to follow it. This is what The Holy Spirit does so I connected friendship to mentoring.

When I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, He responded that mentoring is a trait of friendship, but the best part of friendship was intimacy. He led me down a memory path with Him that caused me to realize that in every adult case of friendship, I have never been threatened with sexual use like my childhood abuse. I could now let this go into His Hands once and for all. Intimacy has a trust connected to it which allows our spirits to connect in a spiritual way that far exceeds simple human flesh. In all of this He brought to mind so many friendships where this is true. Most of all, He brought to mind how this is true for Him and me. That makes me tear up quickly!

Our God is such an Amazing God. He is Abba Father and He loves us dearly!

Today is my birthday. The celebration seemed to start earlier than usual with one of my two California sisters calling me at 2:30 in the morning to wish me happy birthday. She said she wanted to be first! Well, she was! I asked if it would be ok to call her back in a few hours and she said I was a big baby. I guess this must be how old siblings treat one another!

Today marks the mid-year point of consciously working to live the life of a new creation. There has to be a better way to express this, but somehow I mean believing throughout each day that I am a new creation. When ugly temptations have come in my past they would always be met by my thinking that they prove I’m still my old self. I’m learning now that being a new creation doesn’t replace the consequences of living in the flesh. Instead, it is knowing I don’t have to succumb to the flesh. I can surrender these fleshly temptations in Jesus’s Powerful Name and let Him deal with them. All of this isn’t something I haven’t known, I simply never believed it would “work” for me. My belief system needed to be transformed and that is what Jesus has done in these past 6 months–transformed my belief system.

Here I am, 72 years old today and now learning to live by FAITH!

Last Friday I wrote about teaching the Celebrate Recovery lesson on Daily Inventory the night before. This lesson is connected with Principle 7 which reads: “Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.” This message has stayed with me throughout this past week primarily because God knows I haven’t mastered this third part of the principle: “gain the power to follow His will”. Maybe it is because I’m a man and men have to use their own power in order to “be a man”. Also, a man who surrenders has to give up his pride thinking “he’s weak and incapable”. Regardless of the reason/s, I know God is wanting me to learn to “gain the power to follow His will”. This means to be dependent on God’s Holy Spirit within me rather than trying to muscle through my struggles and fail over and over.

This principle also says that in order to gain this power I must know God and His will for my life. These past 6 months of learning to live life as a “new creation” has brought me into a level of trust and faith in God I’ve never had before. Learning to surrender to Him and lean only on His Holy Spirit for strength is huge. Even writing about it right now is huge. I’d much rather write about what I’ve learned, not what I need to learn.

This morning’s devotional scripture was from Luke 22:31-32 (from The Passion). In it I placed my own name as I read it out loud. It says (using my name instead of Peter) “Earnie, my dear friend, listen to what I’m about to tell you. Satan has demanded to come and sift you like wheat and test your faith. But I have prayed for you, Earnie, that you would stay faithful to me no matter what comes.” Isn’t this amazing?! Jesus is praying for you and me just as He did for Peter. His Holy Spirit will stand up against Satan if we will get out of His way by surrendering rather than attempting to fight using our own strength. BIG LESSON!

What a trip! The time yesterday morning with the biblical counseling program folks was superb. They answered everyone of my questions and added insight when I asked them to tell me what I needed to know which I hadn’t asked about. I loved their solid foundation, yet the personal touch their process has to accommodate each one who comes seeking help. This trip has provided the insights I’d hoped to find and along with this, the confidence to move forward knowing God is fully in charge. There is a good deal to continue to process, but I can do so now with blessed assurance.

It is amazing to me the transformation God is making in my life. I have never walked into a new situation in my life with confidence that this will work. I’ve always walked into the new territory with hope that even though it was me walking into it, God would honor the work anyway, in spite of me. Today, for the first time in my life, God is providing for me the confidence that He wants me doing this for Him and I know that because His Holy Spirit is leading each step, I can be at peace. I’ve always started everything new with anxiety and a large measure of fear. Today, I surrender these traits of old me for the blessed assurance that Jesus is in charge and I get to be the one doing this. It just makes me smile with humble thanks!

This trip has been so meaningfully worthwhile. I knew it would be profitable to spend time with my brother-in-law, but it has been far richer than I’d expected. Simply talking through different points of counseling and the problems brought to the table have been very insightful. This morning I will go to the church housing the biblical counseling program and spend a few hours with a couple of the leaders. I am truly looking forward to this.

An item I’ve kept in my mind throughout my recovery was brought to the table in talking with my brother-in-law last night. With each of the counselors I’ve spent time with in my recovery, I’ve been told that the struggle with porn will likely always be with me. Because the root cause goes so deeply into my response mechanism I will have to deal with it. I’ve never wanted to accept this as truth for me, yet it has been true for me even today. This morning I journaled about this asking Jesus for His thoughts. He reminded me of yesterday’s message and that is to believe, trust, and have faith. These are ways a new creation deals with the flesh while I live in the flesh.

In my devotional, this morning’s message in part read, “I have no desire for you to walk with the weight of remorse on your shoulders. All I ask is that you offer me your heart again. My only requirement is full surrender–total yielding to my love and forgiveness. I am the God of restoration. I am the Father who loves you just the way you are, the One whose love flows with healing virtue. The areas that have haunted you with regret will become testaments to my grace….”

Today, I believe! I trust! My faith is strong!