The message of yesterday remains. I met yesterday morning with the man I do the book study with, I Give You Authority. The chapters we are in are now very personal as the author talks deeply about dealing with the inner struggles in life/temptations only we know about and rarely, if ever, talk about. These are the ones I referenced yesterday without identifying them. They may be the same for some of us, but each of us have them. The author identifies the struggle and writes definitively that the same authority we have over other demons is the authority we have over these. The struggle this time is that we vacillate about replacing them–we like them (without saying it out loud).

As I read my scripture today in Joshua, the children of Israel are dividing the land they’ve been given by God–boundaries are being set. Joyce Meyer writes that firm boundaries must be set in our own lives in order to live in the freedom God intends for us to have. This was the conversation I had yesterday with the gentleman I meet with. The Holy Spirit is nudging this man and me to now learn to use the authority of The Cross to Recognize, Rebuke and Replace these struggles (the 3 R’s I’ve written about). In so doing, firm boundaries must be set. I love how God orchestrates these lessons of life. He not only is our loving God, He is a masterful teacher as well.

A big lesson life continues to teach me is perseverance. When I was a child living through days on end of sexual use and the fear of dad’s physical and emotional abuse I would handle perseverance by living somewhere else in my mind. Pretending was a great therapy. God has wanted me to stop living in this world as soon as I was away from home. It was time to face life and the challenges of it.

I use to think persevere meant endurance. I endured the tormenting mind I had and all of its confusion. I hated it and tried my best to endure and push it away. I didn’t know the beauty of surrender and didn’t understand the freedom of confessing to someone I trust. I couldn’t trust anyone I believed. Over time God has taught that persevering isn’t stuffing, ignoring, hiding, but instead; it is facing, confessing and surrendering believing the promises of His Word are true. In so doing, I have found such grace, love and mercy.

Perseverance is a discipline God still works to complete in me. Instead of stuffing and enduring, He wants me to ask Him what I am to learn from the fears I face, the confusion I have? As I do this by facing it, telling it and giving it to God instead of trying to hide it, I find the peace that passeth all understanding and I learn that God is exactly as He says, A True God of Love!

I don’t know about you but I kept waking during the night and checking to see what results were indicating. It is evident that we will need a day or two in order to have a resolute answer. Throughout the history of man Satan has done tremendous damage to God’s original creation of man. We were created for fellowship with God and God gave us an entire earth to inhabit and enjoy. Yet, look what evil has done in taking our eyes off of God and onto man himself. When this happens we start to determine what “right” should look like and what “evil” also looks like. Each group of men throughout the world does this. The result? Look at our world’s situation and look within our own country.

God has given us a perfect outline of morality in His Word. He has asked us to take it seriously and live by it. He has also asked us to not judge one another, but to discern. In our flesh we judge all the time, but only in our spirit can we discern. Discerning never feels judgmental. It actually serves as a boundary. We know not to cross over that line for it will lead to real trouble. There is so much judgment in today’s world and so little discerning. At least, this is true in what we can visibly see and hear.

This present journey seems to halt for a moment while man makes a critical decision. My prayers are the same–Let your LIGHT so SHINE, JESUS CHRIST my KING! It is YOU I want to serve and obey.

Today the personal journey I daily write about takes a look at the national journey of our country. I have to confess that I sense a very dark cloud hovering over us. In our flesh we see this as man against man. In spirit I know it is a battle for man and for the heart of what God created man to be–His followers. Satan is spending his time attempting to destroy any nation or groups of people who proclaim Jesus as Lord and King. He doesn’t care if these people don’t call him lord. He just doesn’t want them knowing Jesus Christ as Lord.

With our eyes on man today, I have already been reminded to lift my eyes towards Heaven where I see a tremendously powerful LIGHT. I wish I knew the outcome of today right now. But, what I do know is the outcome of my lordship. It is to Jesus Christ my King! I pray the day is still present when our nation stands firmly on the ROCK of Jesus Christ and our leadership holds fast to supporting this.

Today I raise my hands in praise to God our Father for His promises. These promises are mine and ours. Today is a very important day, but it pales in comparison to the choice of our Eternal King. This choice is not an election, but instead, it is a choice of our heart. I never want to lose sight of this as our country battles over choosing a man.

When I wrote my book in 2015 and felt led to give it the title: The Journey From Error to Heir, I did so because I was learning about living life knowing I am a child of the King. Then, as I began to write this blog 9 months following the book being published, I call it: The Journey Continues. Five years ago I was still grappling with the mental and emotional struggle of identifying with the truth of being an heir of God. I just couldn’t fathom this truth being real for me. God was using me and my story to reach people which I loved, but inside of me was still a chasm –a void–an emptiness from disbelief. It has taken another 5 years for God to prove to me the power of His Healing Love and the truth of His Word. Today I know I am a child of the King. Instead of doubt, I have such an overwhelming sense of gratitude!

I know I’ve written before about my prayer warrior and what a wonderful support she is. She is the one who more recently prayed over me about the three R’s: recognize, reject and replace. I was unable to find worthiness no matter how hard I tried. When I went to her with the fact that I recognized the lie I have believed for so long–the lie that I am unworthy and I had rejected it, I told her I didn’t know what to replace it with? How do I pray this prayer? She immediately prayed that God would replace it with self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence. That was only a couple months ago. Since that time, God has been filling this void within me with a love and appreciation for myself. It isn’t like what my dad always condemned about me. It is an understanding love that God made me who I am and gifted me the way He did to be an instrument of His Handiwork. With all of this I could be confident that, “He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.”

It truly is amazing to be 70 years old and feel vibrant inside due to God’s amazing love and healing. How much I want to praise Him!

Yesterday I had one of my grandsons and his friend come for the day to help me get the yard and garden ready for winter. I had a big list. By 4:00 pm we had everything done! I was one happy grandpa! Usually I have this done doing piece by piece, but being gone for two weeks in the fall put all of it into a more pressing timeframe. I love my grandkids, and when they help like yesterday it just shows what a blessing they are.

As I was journaling this morning I was hit with the importance of God’s Spoken Word–The Bible. In Hebrews 4:12 it says, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” I lived a long time reading God’s Word and sometimes having it speak to me through an individual scripture. Often though I’d read day after day and simply log another day in my journal . I hate to admit it, but I’d often find more meaning from the devotional I’d read. This has truly shifted for me.

Today I read the devotional to know what God’s Word has said to another man. The Bible reading is God desiring to speak directly to me. The difference for me is my finally beginning to awaken to God’s Spirit. God is Spirit. His Word is Spirit in writing. No wonder it is said to be alive and active! I’m even awakening more also the the fact that worship music is a means of communication for God’s Word. Music goes deeply into my soul allowing God’s Word to penetrate more than just to my mind. It is as though it is oxygen to the roots of my spirit. I have never, until of late, appreciated my spirit like I am learning to do now. God being Spirit communicates best to us when our own spirit is awake to His Own Spirit within us. In 45 more minutes I get to practice for the worship service we have at 9:00 am. I’m already excited to let God’s Spirit speak through us. What a privilege we have in getting to worship freely our God, Lord, Savior and King through His and our spirit and conveying the message through music.

Well, the gentleman I mentioned yesterday contacted me to let me know he had an interview for a new position. He asked for prayer. He then contacted me yesterday afternoon saying with much excitement that he had been given the job! Our God is truly one of much mercy and compassion. What a privilege we have to serve Him!

As the book of Joshua begins, Joshua is given opportunity to demonstrate his anointing as their leader replacing Moses. Joshua had served under Moses for the entire 40 years they’d spent in the wilderness. Now it was time for the people to transfer their trust in Moses to that of Joshua. It is fascinating that Joshua hears God speaking to him directly now, just as God had spoken directly to Moses. Joshua 3:7 says: “The Lord said to Joshua, ‘This day I will begin to magnify you in the sight of all Israel, so they may know that as I was with Moses, so I will be with you.'”

God did a lot of grooming getting Moses ready to be the leader. In the 40 years Joshua served under Moses, God was preparing him. Now that he is the leader God speaks directly to him. I don’t think this has changed in any way since that time. God does speak to us and Jesus even gave us the Gift of the Holy Spirit within us for this very purpose. God wants to groom us just as He did these saints of long ago. I want to be “groomable” (if that’s a word) for our Lord and Savior and hear the voice of His Spirit within me.

A newcomer was part of our group last night at Celebrate Recovery. It was my turn to take a newcomer through what is called “101”. It is an introduction to someone who has come for the first time. During the hour we talked deeply about what the ministry is and isn’t as well as why he had come and what got me started. As I reread yesterday’s blog entry I am quickly reminded that God’s Brilliant Light does shine through us if we allow it through our obedience.

Having been gone for the past two weeks I was looking forward to attending the small group time last night which reconnects me with the other men. The 101 time with a newcomer is at the same time as the small group. However, there is nothing more gratifying than having a chance to see the Light of Hope click on when someone sees and hears this HOPE promise of God is for them. This man had just lost his job due to his addiction. His wife knew of our CR so he came to “try it out”. His words were, “I can’t believe it is right here at my family’s church.” His wife and kids attended but he didn’t. He had come last Sunday for the first time and recommitted his life to God. Now He is ready to address his addiction with the overcoming strength only God can provide.

God is such a loving, caring God, far above what anyone can possibly imagine! How grateful I am to be His child.

Today Moses gave his final address to the Israelites. In chapter 32 of Deuteronomy he does this. However, as I began to read it I found the wording so different than all of his other ones. As I got to the end of it I found that it wasn’t a spoken speech, but words of a song which the people were to pass down to the generations which will follow them. I don’t know about you but I can easily recall the words of a song. The tune will always bring words out. It seems memory is more deeply rooted when the roots are nourished with a tune. God knows His creation well.

I am so impressed with this life of Moses. The word says he was as healthy at 120 as he had been throughout his life. God had mightily used him. When God had approached Moses 40 or so years earlier in the burning bush he knew of God, now he knew God and God had used him to lead an entire nation to its Promised Land.

I don’t know what God might be saying to you, but I do know He asks me to help lead His children out of their darkness of sin into His Brilliant Light. God has shown me His Light in so many restoring ways over the past few years. Sharing this Light with others is my heart’s desire.

Moses is coming to the end of his life and he is giving the final instructions to the Israelites. During the 40 years of their wanderings in the desert the entire population of these people have died with the exception of Moses, Joshua and Caleb. All others are the children of the disobedient. Moses is doing his best to let this new population know it is up to them to choose who they will serve. He gives them ample evidence for doing so. They know all the stories of why their parents couldn’t go into the land they are about to enter. All of this is clearly written in the latter chapters of Deuteronomy.

What really hits me personally about all of this is the stress of obedience. Obedience is what provides peace and actually freedom to live well. This is true in most situations of life. Obedience is much easier when you have a genuine love and respect for the one/s you are being obedient to. In this case the Israelites are to be obedient to the laws of God. What seems to be missing is their personal relationship with God. Their relationship was more with a man named Moses and soon to be given over to Joshua.

I’m challenged in reading this because I spent most of my life trying to obey a God I feared far more than I loved. I had a lot of pent up hurt I needed to process with Him but feared doing it. Thus, my relationship with God was hugely distorted. This journey of living out the past 12 years has given me not only an immense love for God, but it has also given me an intimate connection with Him through Jesus Christ. The importance of The Holy Spirit continues to grow within me too. Becoming obedient to this FATHER is so much different when I cherish Him rather than fear Him. He truly is worthy of all Praise!