Yesterday had some challenging moments in it which not so long ago would have led to intense temptations to “give comfort”. I’ve lived for years with Satan’s lies coming at me telling me that comfort is just a tap of my phone away. Of course if I followed his temptation I would then find myself steeped in the guilt and shame that followed. This was not the case yesterday. The challenging moments were followed with surrender and processing with God.

In years past I wouldn’t allow my emotions to be felt so I’d stuff them. Emotions were something that caused my dad to explode with abusive actions and words. I would never allow myself to do that so I couldn’t feel or else I might be “like dad”. God has certainly brought me to a different place today. He wants me to feel emotion and to acknowledge that they are real and have purpose. Yesterday’s emotions were first felt. As I processed them with God He gave me words to express them. He even gave me words to understand the purpose of them.

It seems odd now to look at the day yesterday and find that living in the flesh, as we all do, coupled with God’s Spirit allows us to not let the flesh own us. The flesh we have was never created to be sinful, and we don’t have to choose sin today no matter what the circumstances. Wow, God is AMAZING!

Have you ever noticed how faith, trust, hope and words of this nature grow in importance and understanding as we continue in our walk with God? My devotional today brought this out with great clarity. When I compared what these looked like to me when I was in my young years, they were words that I used to get through my childhood. When I left home for college and then started my life of “independence”, I found I needed to continue to use them. When I was in my childhood I thought getting through it would give me freedom. However, when I got to college I found I had the bondage of my childhood so I shifted my faith, trust and hope to the “freedom of living” with no one knowing. As life went on I found that this way of living had its own punishment. It turned into nightly nightmares and withdrawing from social gatherings and more.

Freedom comes from sharing and learning how as James 5:16 tells us. The sharing needs to be with someone you trust because that is when we begin to truly heal for the prayers of who we tell are “powerful and effective” as this verse tells us. So, how does simply telling one’s story give freedom? Well, it starts with faith, trust and hope in what God’s Word tells us and He then performs His miracles of healing. We can never know this if we don’t take the first step and then the next, and then the next….

God is Amazingly Wonderful when we start this journey of obedience to His Word.

Well, the pots are done and their beauty has only begun. I will enjoy watching the young plants as they grow into their fullness and provide the beauty intended. Somehow I think there is a metaphor in this. God plants His Holy Spirit within us as we accept His Son Jesus into our lives to be our Savior and Lord. However, if we do not water and nurture this new life it will stay dormant until we do.

Knowing the truth of God’s promises is the start of a glorious relationship with Him. Believing these truths for oneself is the next great step. Disciplining oneself to build the relationship with God through worship, reading His Word and prayer are the nutrients of this growth. At some point in time the discipline one needed to use to start the relationship turns into a desire/a passion that never feels like a discipline at all. The outcome??? JOY–sheer JOY!

Have I ever written here that I love the springtime? Well, if I haven’t, know that I do! Today I will begin planting the deck pots. It brings great joy to my heart planting them and then watering and watching their beauty until fall’s frost finally brings them to an end. Life is beautiful when you’re a flower!

There are somethings in our lives that speak to our spirit. Gardening is a spirit thing for me. Grandkids are another spirit speaker. Music–gospel and classical are spirit speakers for me. This counseling program is another unexpected spirit speaker for me. In fact, spending 50 years in education was a spirit speaker for me. These things I write about are never seen as work, but things I get to do and experience. Each one of us has somethings which speak to our spirit and we treasure them.

God is Himself Spirit. Faith, Trust, Hope, Assurance are all examples of solid rock in God’s Spirit world. He wants you and me to live in this confidence with Him. Awakening to the beauty of God’s Spirit is nothing less than AMAZING to a man of flesh. If we try to see spirit through the lens of the flesh we only see a mystery–confusion–question marks. However, seeing Spirit through spirit we see Hope, we find Trust building, we discover Faith which leads to Confidence and we find ourselves moving forward with a JOY we’ve never known before!

There is a point I’ve been trying to make clear (for me) for readers that I still haven’t done very well. In the past couple of days I’ve hit upon God being I AM (a name He gave Himself during the time of Moses). God is the same yesterday, today and forever so He still is I AM. The only place I AM fits is when one is in today.

Yesterday I wrote about finding God in the days of abuse which were my past. In therapy I was enabled to bring the abuse of my past to the present–the today. It was then I was able to let God be in scene with me clarifying for me who the abuser was, who the abused was and where God was in this troubling time. It was also here that God made it very clear that the gift of choice which He gave mankind could also be turned into a curse when man chooses to use choice selfishly.

The GREAT I AM can and will help us when we are able to let Him enter into our troubled pasts–today. Because of God’s Grace and Mercy, today I am free from my past’s bondage. Will I ever be anxious? Well, yes, but as soon as I allow God to enter into the scene in my mind that triggers the anxiety, I can surrender it and find that promised PEACE which passeth all understanding!

This morning as I’ve reread yesterday’s post I am prompted to add a piece which didn’t hit me until today. The name God gave himself when He was dealing with Moses and the Israelites was I AM. I’ve heard many, many times over the years that this name God has given Himself testifies to the truth that God is in our present–today. In the flesh we can only live in the present so God is telling us to keep our minds in today for that is where we will find Him.

When I was in counseling (not so many years ago), one of the most grueling things for me was reliving so many times of abuse: sexual, physical and verbal. What became healing during this process was finding God in them by understanding that when God gave man choice, man chose this behavior–not God. The abuse was entirely about man’s choice–the abuse of God giving us choice. I didn’t own anything about the abuse. Only then was I able to finally let the sins I thought I carried due to the abuse–go. They were not mine to carry, they had been done to me, not committed by me.

When you realize God is I AM, we need to go back and find God’s I AM presence in our past when we are locked into a lie thinking God had abandoned us. This GREAT I AM is in each and every day we have lived and will be in each and every day we will live. The bondage of sin is the absence of finding God in that time and taking whatever steps need to be taken to let God into the time. Sometimes it is letting the the abuser own all that they did. Sometimes we have to confess a part we may have had. Whatever is needed, we can take the appropriate steps to let God be in it. Helping others do this today is such a wonderful, humbling privilege!

Have you ever questioned a biblical, scriptural truth? When I was in high school and the sexual use of me was still taking place with the one older brother, I was reading I Corinthians 10:13. It says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” At the time I knew this verse was given as a promise of God–TRUTH. However, it never seemed true for me. It became one of the reasons I thought God just didn’t care much for me which led to me thinking I was more than an oops of mom and dad. I was also God’s mistake and I would have to earn my way back to Him.

In my recent years I’ve become very grounded in the truth of this verse. I’ve certainly learned that my temptations are common to man. But, more than that I’ve learned just how God never did let me be tempted beyond what I could bear. In all of the times during my life when temptations and life’s realities seemed overwhelming and all consuming, I lived through them and became a better person for doing so thanks be to God,

So, today I read Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” The critical truth in growing in my walk with God has been learning to live by FAITH and unlearning to live by flesh. As I do this I find the truth of my flesh being crucified with Christ. I can claim this truth as a Sword of the Spirit when temptations come.

Last night in our step study group, one of the men asked what the meaning of meek is? The lesson we were doing is lesson 6 which is ACTION. The principle for this lesson is Principle 3: “Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.” The scripture supporting this principle is: Matthew 5:5, “Happy are the meek.” I responded from what the lesson teaches in that meek is like humble. One recognizes the power to overcome is not within man, but is found in God’s Holy Spirit within us if we have accepted Christ into our lives. When we are meek we know our weakness and turn to God’s Strength within us through the Power of the Holy Spirit.

So, one can know this truth, but putting this truth into action is an entirely different story. We have to be honest with ourselves first and foremost. We also have to desire to have the struggle overcome. Sometimes one may want a struggle taken away, but then we come up against something in our lives and we quickly want to return to the struggle. We all know the consequence of doing this, but the temptations are strong.

In all of this, we learn the genuine meaning of “meek”. I feel like I’ve had to learn this several different times for just when I think I’m strong in the Lord, I find that this new day is now a new struggle. The Serenity Prayer is very true when it says, “…One day at a time, one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.” This sure isn’t a one time lesson!

Last night we had a quartet practice gearing up for a couple of events we where we are doing an hour long concert. One of the songs is “Through It All”. We have done this song many times in years past but haven’t sung it for 4 or 5 years. I happened to be signing it while I was mowing my lawn this past Monday. The words thank Jesus/God for the trust we can have in them, the hope we have, thanking them for the problems of life in order to build this trust. In part they say: “Through it all I’ve learned to trust in Jesus, I’ve learned to trust in God…” As I was singing this while mowing I was overcome with thanksgiving. I hadn’t realize just how much I have learned to trust in Jesus until these past several months of counseling. I so often hear of one’s disbelief that Jesus truly cares for them or why would all of this be happening to them? I relate so well to this question for it was my own for so many years of my life.

The ordeals of life are overwhelming sometimes, but God’s faithfulness to His Promises are even more overwhelming if we will continue to stay with Him. He will kindly and patiently help us find Him in these awful circumstances and allow us to replace our questions of doubt with confidence in thanksgiving. I am a living testament of this and I am so very grateful!

Have you ever noticed the difference in people and their expression of “I love you”? This statement is one I never heard from either of my parents as a child growing up. I wouldn’t even of wanted to hear it from my dad. It would have only added fuel to my bitterness towards him if I thought he loved me on top of his abusive behaviors. However, my mom was such the opposite. She deeply cared for each of us kids from the physical standpoint. The girls talk about mom’s care for them from the emotional standpoint also.

My sis-in-law invited me to join them for dinner last night ahead of going to choir practice. This topic of love came up. She is one who never lets her kids or grandkids leave without them knowing she loves them. I have grandkids who are exceptionally good at saying this each and every time we are together. They prompt me to do the same. This statement is truly one of kindness and affection. I know that I am much more like my mom in that I can easily care for you, but saying this doesn’t come to mind unless I’m reminded by another one’s words.

God has not let this rest in my mind and heart since last night. I need to grow in saying this–I love you. Words are powerful. My heart is in this statement so I need to get better at letting others know.