It was so nice to get home yesterday. I had 3 grandsons at our house when I got here and their family ate dinner with us last night which was an added bonus. There was a good deal of watering to do outside for all of the garden areas, but that got done too. Today I head back into the realities of home. It is a different reality as I come to the end of my time with the years of educational involvement. I asked Jesus to lead this time so I don’t lose sight of ending this year with a full commitment as I am stepping into this new area of biblical counsel.

I marvel at the Jesus I know today compared to the Jesus I thought I knew not so many years ago. The truth of scripture is just as real for me personally as it is for each and every one of God’s created beings. There is no comfort like the comfort of knowing and believing that everything God has said in His Word is true for you (me). I’ve lived a long time with this yearning and now I yearn no more–the TRUTH has come out in brilliant LIGHT. What an AMAZING GOD I get to serve with each and every believer.

A hiccup occurred yesterday as I was to come home. My flight from Dallas to Denver was delayed so my arrival to Denver was when I was to arrive in Boise–10:30 pm. I finally got to a hotel room at 11:30 pm so I could spend the night and I will catch my plane home this morning at 11:15 am. I was supposed to be at church this morning at 8:00 for the worship team and choir practice. These things bother me when I can’t complete assignments I’ve committed to doing. I contacted our director so she would know, but that doesn’t remove the guilt.

In my devotional this morning I was surprised to read this: “Life is busy enough without you feeling pressured with religious duties. Despite what any man may tell you, I don’t need you to perform for me. I don’t need you to behave just right, dress just so, or wear a mask to cover your emotions or personality. I love you completely, just the way you are. Life with me is not a life of bondage and duty.”

Jesus is truly AMAZING! It seems as though He had this devotional written to coincide with every detail of my life this year of 2022. I am reminded over and over just how much He cares for every detail in my (our) life. I love Him!

I ended yesterday’s entry with “Abba Father”. As I was journaling this morning I was recalling the first time I remember hearing this name for our God. In our lay terms, it was referenced as “daddy”. I was in my 30s when I heard this and I recall at the time that it was a belittling term for God, I thought. God was much bigger and much more powerful than a simple–daddy.

These past couple of days has awakened in me and shown me the powerful, loving side of God which puts the fullness of daddy in our God. I had no idea 40 years ago that my reference to God was so dependent upon my own father’s influence. This God we serve is a loving, caring, healing, intimate Father who has given us His Son and His Holy Spirit to lead us into the fullness of His Glory! What I’ve known in my head I am experiencing much more fully in my heart. I didn’t come to this conference thinking I’d walk away with this awakening, but it is another gift of God He wanted me to have and share with those He brings to the counseling room.

Today will wrap up the conference and I’ll fly home this evening. I do so with an assurance that my Abba Father is leading completely. Even my devotional reading this morning said that when God opens the door, man cannot shut it. I see very clearly how God is doing so with this new ministry. What a humble honor to be part of this work with Abba Father.

The journey of yesterday was a fabulous time to realize I was in the right place at the right time. I met some remarkably good people and heard the messages I needed to hear. I wrote and wrote reminding me of the days when I was young in education and couldn’t write fast enough to glean all that I thought I needed to know for tomorrow’s work. I am in that same mindset while here.

In the later afternoon, the breakout sessions began. I was looking for the map of this gigantic church so I could find where to go when I looked up and there were the very directions on the wall for the room. Once again I thanked God for the details He provides for this one who is directionally challenged! I wasn’t sure which track I should attend because all of them seemed pertinent. I chose the session on PTSD because I have always wondered where God fits into this mysterious struggle I’ve had and so many others have who come to Celebrate Recovery. How does God use His Word to heal what one cannot describe or find buried so deeply within? I have found great victory, but it still seems mysterious. I’d have to write another book to explain all I began to glean, but what I want to share here is one simple point–write a psalm to God.

Writing a psalm to God was spoken by two different speakers. I use to dislike the Psalms thinking all they did was give light to “feeling sorry for oneself”. I needed to be bigger than my problems and I needed to understand more fully that I just didn’t know God well and hadn’t done enough to be worthy of His attention. Well, at 3:30 this morning I wrote the first half of a very lengthy psalm to God. It is starting as a lament but I know it will end with victory because I am victorious today and gaining more ground with each day. This God of ours is truly THE ABBA FATHER!

I’m in Fort Worth, TX. Yesterday I arrived without any issues, rented my car and found the hotel without making any u-turns. That is a first for me! Once I got unpacked I then found the church so I can get there this morning. As I began to journal earlier this morning I was about to outline for Jesus all of the expectations I hoped to learn today. However, as I was starting to write He nicely informed me to instead, listen well and learn all that He had in mind for me to learn today. Doesn’t that sound just like a nice Leader? He already knows just what He wants me to learn here and I don’t have to fret about completing my list, He wants me focused on His List. OK, I have this much down for today.

As I began my Bible reading, it was John 15. Christ is telling the disciples in verse 5, “I am the sprouting vine and you’re my branches. As you live in union with me as your source, fruitfulness will stream from within you–but when you live separated from me you are powerless.”

Jesus has done a good deal of pruning in my life getting me to a place of BELIEF seeing Him as the One to believe. I’ve needed to let go of so many old lies seeing me in my old self instead of BELIEVING in the new creation God has made me to be. I humbly thank Him for this new, remarkable opportunity to serve Him.

The day has come–arrived. I leave in less than an hour for the airport. I remember telling Jesus last night when I got into bed that it would be nice to sleep without interruption until this early morning hour. The next thing I knew I awoke 10 minutes before my alarm was to go off. There is no detail in living for which God is not interested.

I need to reflect for a moment this morning. Back in my 20’s I was asked to be part of our pastoral staff by the pastor of our church. I knew I could never be part of such a group–I would be found not only as unworthy of such an honor, but ones would find out just how dirty this man is. I wouldn’t then be able to volunteer, let alone be part of a church staff. Now, almost 50 years later, steps are being taken so I can spend my work time fully devoted to God’s Kingdom work at our church. It is with such gratitude I receive this gift of service.

Am I nervous–yes, I would lie if I didn’t say so. Yet, my confidence in God has grown exponentially as I’ve been taking these recent steps. There are no doors for me to open. My role has been to walk through doors that are already open. It has been totally my needing to open my mind and spirit to The Holy Spirit within me–TRUSTING. How much I cherish being part of this TEAM!

Today I awoke much too early. For the next 1.5 hours I fitfully tried to sleep, and did somewhat, only to have wicked dreams occurring. Once I knew my coffee had brewed I got up and began my devotions. As I began to journal I told God just how nervous I am about leaving tomorrow to attend the conference for the counseling training. When I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, He simply reminded me that obedience to Him doesn’t remove anxiety and stress from man, but He offers the opportunity to give it all to Him and simply TRUST.

Following my journaling I opened my devotional and could hardly believe what I was reading. The title for today is, “The Time For Change Has Come.” The second paragraph reads: “The changes that are upon you will demand that you trust me more. In the stretching of your faith, you will find me as never before. Get ready for the kingdom of joy to come, even while dark shadows linger over your circumstances. Leap for joy, for in that leap of faith, you will find my presence. Faith rejoices and subdues doubt and fear. Watch new miracles flow through the seasons of joy that I bring.”

God has made this change so abundantly clear and He continues to remind me to have Faith and to Trust. I take each step with Faith and Trust at the helm. If I even try to take a step without this Faith and Trust the anxiety screams. I can actually use this indicator to know to step back and get behind Faith and Trust. I never want to take another step without them.

Yesterday was a powerful day celebrating Easter at church and with our family and friends later in the day. Something that was also special for me, which was a little unexpected, was the work I got done. On Saturday, the day I spent much of it at the hospital with my grandson, I was going to get some yard work done which needed to be done that day. I only got a small portion of it completed that afternoon. So, when I was having my devotions yesterday morning I asked God for help with this. I’m leaving Wednesday morning early for the Texas conference regarding the counseling program we are starting at church. I’m with schools today and tomorrow and the nights are also filled so I have no time these two days to get anything done outside. When I asked God for help as I was journaling, He simply reminded me of the ox in the ditch. I told Him it was Easter Sunday! He just reminded me that man makes this a big deal, He had already done HIS BIG DEAL a couple thousand years ago. So, yesterday, once I got home from church, I was able to complete all of the work I needed to do and still had a couple hours of relaxation before the family celebration began.

These details which are important only to me are also important to God. I too often forget this, but yesterday God reminded me once again that He loves helping us even on His Most Special Day!

IT’S EASTER! JESUS HAS RISEN INDEED! Today’s scripture reading for me was John 12. In this chapter Jesus tells his followers about the grain of wheat that falls into the ground and dies. When this happens it sprouts and produces a great harvest of wheat–all because one grain died. I’ve read this many, many times in my life and knew it meant that we should die to ourselves so Jesus could live through us. Our lives would become a testimony to Him. The footnote to this verse said something I’d not thought about. It reads, “The one grain is Jesus Christ, who will within days be offered as the sacrifice for sin on Calvary’s cross. He will drop into the ground as a grain of wheat and bring forth a great harvest….” I suppose many had already figured this out, but not me. As I read this I stopped to realize the millions upon millions of believers across the world who are worshipping Jesus Christ. Truly, this Jesus we serve, IS the SAVIOR of our world. I too want to be another seed that dies so a harvest can follow.

Resurrection power is released when we give thanks to God! (A footnote quote from The Passion). Lets give THANKS today to GOD our Father for giving us HIS SON!

Sometimes the journey gets a change for the moment. One of my grandsons had a basketball accident last winter in a game where he broke in half both of his front teeth. Yesterday he was in so much pain that they found infection had set in. They scheduled him for surgery at 6:00 am this morning at the main St Luke’s Hospital in Boise. So I am here giving support. At first they weren’t going to let me stay since they haven’t fully reopened for surgery guests. However they said since it’s Saturday and Easter weekend I could be with my daughter. That was nice. God is always good!