Yesterday I got up at 5 am to start my devotions so I could head to the school district for the day. In less than 5 minutes I knew I wouldn’t be going to any school and shouldn’t. I would expose to a host of people whatever I have. So, I went back to bed and didn’t get up again until about 9. I hadn’t slept like that for a very long time. Today is better, but not 100%. I have a short mtg to attend closer to noon and then the restoration class tonight. It allows me to still have one more day to take it easy.

With a stuffed up head I asked Jesus this morning if He had anything for me to know from Him? I was thinking with the way I feel He’d tell me to go sit in my recliner. Instead, He assured me I am loved. He said that the work I do doesn’t determine my value to Him or others. It can be rescheduled and then done. I wasn’t expecting this message. I may have a better handle on being a new creation, but the old habits (character defects) of “work=value” are not easy to break. I am very grateful I stayed home yesterday and that I have most of today to be home too. God really is a caring, loving Father.

Today I awoke with my head feeling like it’s the size of a basketball. You know that stuffy, cold feeling? Well, I have it. As much as I tried to dissuade it, it won. On the positive side, my day yesterday was such a great one in many ways. I don’t often have the opportunity to spend ample time with my kids. I had arranged for my oldest daughter and I to have breakfast together. We ended up spending three hours in the restaurant. It was a tremendously wonderful conversation where we talked through so many needed items. We both walked away from it feeling blessed.

I never know from one day to the next what God has in store for it. I, like most, have my plan thinking it is the one God has for me. But, in cases like yesterday, only God can orchestrate the timing. He just wants us to be ready to listen, respond as He nudges and give Him the Glory. I am doing this now. To God be the Glory for Great Things He Hath Done!

I am reading Jeremiah presently in my bible reading. As I’m involved in the dialogue of this book I find myself wondering how the people in those times could be so blatantly blind to God’s leading? Here they have a prophet telling them exactly what God wants them to know about consequences and yet they deny the message and then suffer the exact consequences they were told they would. What was wrong with those people? Of course, as soon as I think this, I am quickly reminded of us today. Here we have all the evidence of the entire Bible right in front of us. Do our behaviors reflect anything differently than those of the bible times? I don’t think so. The flesh of man is so selfish and weak–then and today.

My devotional today challenged me to take a look at those around me who are weak in their ability to follow God’s lead in their lives. Not all of us are strong in this arena. In fact, I know that even though we may appear strong to someone else, each of us have our own personal areas of struggle. I told about one of mine just yesterday. Anyway, I’m going to reflect on this challenge to see just where God is pointing me. I’ve already been nudged and I’ll see how this develops as this day continues.

Thank goodness God is stable and secure. He is as solid as the evidence states in the Bible. And, He loves us and cares for us in spite of man’s continued disobedience. He even sent us a Savior to redeem our sinfulness. How lucky can we be!

Today the journey does continue but it is getting a later start than usual. I don’t go to the district I’m working with until noon so the morning time is much more relaxed–actually more focused on what I’m about to write.

Yesterday I talked about turning over to Jesus the temptations I face. I can let them go Jesus said. As I was in Celebrate Recovery last night one of our people gave their testimony. There were points in it which God was using to bring light to me. He waits for us to see our need of facing issues of our past. The need to face certain ones often bring about tremendous fear within. This was always true for me regarding the abuse from a struggling brother and the lingering gay thoughts for which I was left. This is one of those I’ve pushed down far more than faced. Last night I was prompted to face them so when I got home I journaled and asked Jesus what He wanted me to know regarding this? It was like a therapy session for me with the counselor I had for the PTSD. I needed to go back to the roots and find Jesus there and then let Him speak to me. These times brought about fear, confusion, shame and bitterness–all of which have been suppressed. Yes, they are talked about but never quite resolved. Jesus is wanting them resolved now that I am where I am with Him today–seeing myself as a new creation.

Facing the past is a tortuous thing but it is not nearly as tortuous as continuing to stuff the residue which always haunts one. Letting Jesus bring His cleansing power into it is so amazing and humbling. How I love Him, His Father and His Spirit for this.

Today is a typical day in many ways. I’m working with a district, going for a teeth cleaning this afternoon, Celebrate Recovery tonight–a routine day. In it though, Kathy is leaving to go to her sister’s place in Joseph, OR until Monday. In these times of absence I always have routine things to do and never really miss the absence when it is only for a few days. Something that is hitting me this time is my need to be prepared for temptation. I’ve always needed to do this, but in times past I’ve done it with an internal sense of panic. I have these fleeting thoughts of “what if” which try to dominate my mind. As I brought all of it to Jesus in my journaling time this morning, He said to relax and enjoy “our” time. I can’t begin to write and tell how comforting this statement was and is.

When I was growing up I always looked forward to my dad’s absence. As a very young child he would be at work during the day. When we moved to the farm right as I was turning 9, this all changed. He was home 24/7. Only when he was doing custom work for a neighbor was he gone. During those times I loved the absence, but I was always filled with dread that I or my brothers and I would do something which would trigger dad’s anger when he got home which led to another beating. This dread of “what if” has always stayed with me in absence. Today, Jesus pointed out that I can let this go. Satan’s temptations can be turned over to Him. Jesus and I can enjoy one another’s time. Seems silly, but this is a real awakening to me. Being a new creation does have so many benefits for which I am awakening little by little. Wow! God is so GOOD!

Yesterday turned out to be a gift in many ways. I didn’t need to go to any sites, so I was able to have lunch with one of our pastors. This was a gift. We talked about several items which then led to me being able to have time talking through a couple of tough spots with another pastor. All of this is related to our ministry work and some of the issues within. As I was driving home I had a call from another individual who is directly involved in the ministry and we were able to talk deeply about next steps. I didn’t know at the start of yesterday how much God would be using the day to clear the path for our next steps, but that’s exactly what He did. How much I love Him and love how He works.

Today as I was reading my Bible in Jeremiah, he is telling the Israelites about their doom of being overtaken by the Babylonians. In it Joyce Meyers writes an insert where she states how important it is to pray for God’s Will in others lives, but then let the others and God work it out. We are not to try and get others to do things our way, this only interferes with them working their lives out with God. This is true of our children, grandchildren, friends, co-workers, relatives, etc. We may have influence, but our influence is to be in response to God’s nudging. When we take that step we are done. We need to let God and the other/s do their part without our intrusion. I needed this reminder regarding the things in the present ministry items. God is always GOOD!

Every few months I rewrite my prayer list so it stays current with the ones I’m praying for and remove the ones no longer needing it. I did this just a few minutes ago. The unexpected thing that makes me rejoice within and puts a smile on my face is “New Creation”. For the past three years (since April, 2016) I’ve rewritten this prayer list eight times. Each time I’ve placed New Creation at the top of it to remind myself that I am a new creation because of God’s Amazing Grace and what Jesus Christ has done for me and that The Holy Spirit lives within me remaking me into this new creation.

I write all of this because this morning as I began to rewrite my prayer list I recognized that instead of needing to write New Creation as a reminder, I wrote it as a statement of fact. It isn’t a hope–it is a reality! Today I know this and I simply rejoice within because of it. I will be 70 years old in less than a year, but it has been worth every moment of every day in them to finally get to this reality–Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

God is always so good. The meeting yesterday for our Celebrate Recovery ministry was a wonderful one. There is much work to be done but the right people are now committed to doing what is needed. There are some difficult issues being faced, but they are now being faced and that is what God has been wanting done. At the end of the meeting I had three different individuals wanting to talk regarding their own “demons” presently being faced. The meeting opened up the door for this to happen. Praise God!

There is something I am noticing about myself presently on my journey. For all of my years of living I’ve told myself I am stable and steady. This was an easy estimation because my eyes were always using my dad as my measuring stick. I never conducted myself remotely like he did. My sins didn’t abuse anyone in the ways my brother’s did or my dad’s did. God has now removed these two as my measuring stick. He has now replaced them with His Rightful Son–Jesus. Now, I see myself as a sinful man restored by Grace. I see my wishy-washy ways. No, they are often not like dad, but they are truly like me–man. I’ve realized how much I need to stay in touch with Jesus and sense His Holy Spirit so I can be their reflection. There is no reflection of Jesus when I am trying to not be like my dad or brother. I just looked like a man. It is amazing to me to become awake to being a new creation. In so doing, God has me now seeing myself as his creation in this fallen world. What I do with it is a daily commitment and assignment. It starts with recognition of who I am and surrendering to God so I can truly “be” His servant. What I do is out of “being a servant led by Him”. It all starts with my devotional time each morning.

God truly is amazing! The ups an downs of man have no effect on the stability of God. Thankfully God is steadfast and sure as the old hymn , “My Anchor Holds”, says.

Yesterday afternoon the Lewis’ brother’s and spouses got together for our monthly luncheon. It was nothing but fun and laughter. I don’t think any of us were sure about this monthly get together when we started it a couple years ago, but amazingly now I look forward to them. The touching part of yesterday was hearing my oldest, living brother give the blessing before we ate. They were hosting the meal and he blessed the food. He got a little choked up and so did some of the rest of us. For many years he has not made God a priority in his life, but today, God is high on his list. Praise God!

Today is the leadership meeting for our Celebrate Recovery group following the worship services. It is an important one. It seems the ministry is at a crossroad. Are we going to commit to doing whatever is needed or are we going to just do what is comfortable? I think God puts man up against these times so we can choose either to follow the comfortable (selfish) ways of man or choose to surrender to doing all that God nudges us to do? I do believe this will be the major outcome of today’s meeting–making the choice. I pray we will each be good listeners to The Holy Spirit and good responders also.

Yesterday was one of those days one loves and hates all at the same time. I loved being outside most of the day (once the company was gone). However, my mind was troubled with the issues from our ministries and having no direction in dealing with it. In fact, we have a meeting tomorrow following our church service and we are going to talk through some of these tough situations.

As I finished up the work I wanted to get done outside I went to the mailbox to get the mail and the newspaper. There was a letter from my spiritual mentor. It couldn’t have come at a better time. In it she told me that as she was praying for our Celebrate Recovery ministry God told her to give me a message from Him. He wanted me to know I am His masterpiece. When I read this I thought, “Wow, that is so nice.” My mentor went on to say she wondered why God didn’t just tell me Himself? But, she didn’t want to question God’s leading in her own life.

As I was having my devotions this morning and was journaling, I went back and reread the message from my mentor. I knew why God wanted her to tell me. There are scriptures which call God’s children His masterpiece. I’ve even had them written out so I could begin to believe this is true for me. My belief system has always struggled to believe this as true, for I know my past. However, getting this surprise letter and this message within it was hugely impacting. The fact that God would tell her to give this message to me was powerful in itself. Yesterday was a tough day but God already knew and had prepared a message for me from Him to be delivered just at the right time. What a great God we get to serve!