The day has come–arrived. I leave in less than an hour for the airport. I remember telling Jesus last night when I got into bed that it would be nice to sleep without interruption until this early morning hour. The next thing I knew I awoke 10 minutes before my alarm was to go off. There is no detail in living for which God is not interested.

I need to reflect for a moment this morning. Back in my 20’s I was asked to be part of our pastoral staff by the pastor of our church. I knew I could never be part of such a group–I would be found not only as unworthy of such an honor, but ones would find out just how dirty this man is. I wouldn’t then be able to volunteer, let alone be part of a church staff. Now, almost 50 years later, steps are being taken so I can spend my work time fully devoted to God’s Kingdom work at our church. It is with such gratitude I receive this gift of service.

Am I nervous–yes, I would lie if I didn’t say so. Yet, my confidence in God has grown exponentially as I’ve been taking these recent steps. There are no doors for me to open. My role has been to walk through doors that are already open. It has been totally my needing to open my mind and spirit to The Holy Spirit within me–TRUSTING. How much I cherish being part of this TEAM!

Today I awoke much too early. For the next 1.5 hours I fitfully tried to sleep, and did somewhat, only to have wicked dreams occurring. Once I knew my coffee had brewed I got up and began my devotions. As I began to journal I told God just how nervous I am about leaving tomorrow to attend the conference for the counseling training. When I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, He simply reminded me that obedience to Him doesn’t remove anxiety and stress from man, but He offers the opportunity to give it all to Him and simply TRUST.

Following my journaling I opened my devotional and could hardly believe what I was reading. The title for today is, “The Time For Change Has Come.” The second paragraph reads: “The changes that are upon you will demand that you trust me more. In the stretching of your faith, you will find me as never before. Get ready for the kingdom of joy to come, even while dark shadows linger over your circumstances. Leap for joy, for in that leap of faith, you will find my presence. Faith rejoices and subdues doubt and fear. Watch new miracles flow through the seasons of joy that I bring.”

God has made this change so abundantly clear and He continues to remind me to have Faith and to Trust. I take each step with Faith and Trust at the helm. If I even try to take a step without this Faith and Trust the anxiety screams. I can actually use this indicator to know to step back and get behind Faith and Trust. I never want to take another step without them.

Yesterday was a powerful day celebrating Easter at church and with our family and friends later in the day. Something that was also special for me, which was a little unexpected, was the work I got done. On Saturday, the day I spent much of it at the hospital with my grandson, I was going to get some yard work done which needed to be done that day. I only got a small portion of it completed that afternoon. So, when I was having my devotions yesterday morning I asked God for help with this. I’m leaving Wednesday morning early for the Texas conference regarding the counseling program we are starting at church. I’m with schools today and tomorrow and the nights are also filled so I have no time these two days to get anything done outside. When I asked God for help as I was journaling, He simply reminded me of the ox in the ditch. I told Him it was Easter Sunday! He just reminded me that man makes this a big deal, He had already done HIS BIG DEAL a couple thousand years ago. So, yesterday, once I got home from church, I was able to complete all of the work I needed to do and still had a couple hours of relaxation before the family celebration began.

These details which are important only to me are also important to God. I too often forget this, but yesterday God reminded me once again that He loves helping us even on His Most Special Day!

IT’S EASTER! JESUS HAS RISEN INDEED! Today’s scripture reading for me was John 12. In this chapter Jesus tells his followers about the grain of wheat that falls into the ground and dies. When this happens it sprouts and produces a great harvest of wheat–all because one grain died. I’ve read this many, many times in my life and knew it meant that we should die to ourselves so Jesus could live through us. Our lives would become a testimony to Him. The footnote to this verse said something I’d not thought about. It reads, “The one grain is Jesus Christ, who will within days be offered as the sacrifice for sin on Calvary’s cross. He will drop into the ground as a grain of wheat and bring forth a great harvest….” I suppose many had already figured this out, but not me. As I read this I stopped to realize the millions upon millions of believers across the world who are worshipping Jesus Christ. Truly, this Jesus we serve, IS the SAVIOR of our world. I too want to be another seed that dies so a harvest can follow.

Resurrection power is released when we give thanks to God! (A footnote quote from The Passion). Lets give THANKS today to GOD our Father for giving us HIS SON!

Sometimes the journey gets a change for the moment. One of my grandsons had a basketball accident last winter in a game where he broke in half both of his front teeth. Yesterday he was in so much pain that they found infection had set in. They scheduled him for surgery at 6:00 am this morning at the main St Luke’s Hospital in Boise. So I am here giving support. At first they weren’t going to let me stay since they haven’t fully reopened for surgery guests. However they said since it’s Saturday and Easter weekend I could be with my daughter. That was nice. God is always good!

Yesterday was a powerful day starting with the awakening given to me during my devotional time. This morning has been no different. In my bible reading of John 11, Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. In the 25th verse Jesus tells Martha, Lazarus’ sister, that she didn’t need to wait until Resurrection Day for Lazarus to be healed for Jesus is the Resurrection–He is Life Eternal. There is a footnote accompanying this passage which reads, “Resurrection is superior to life, for life can be defeated and ended. But resurrection overcomes. Life is the power to exist, but, resurrection is the power to conquer all, even death itself. Believers must learn to live in Christ our Life, but also, Christ our Resurrection to conquer all thing.”

As I was reading all of this I was impressed by the Holy Spirit to realize just how much Jesus has resurrected life for me bringing His healing Light into the darkness of my past. This being done not just to heal me but doing this so that I can be a Light-bearer for Him. Human life is the power to exist as is stated in the quote above. This is the life Satan can torment, but, the Resurrection Life is the life which has conquered this torment and I am learning this well. I stand amazed in the presence of this JESUS we so fortunately get to serve!

God is truly wanting me to face this chasm I mentioned yesterday that is within me–this chasm of unbelief. I could say, this demon who wants to take control of my life causing me to step away from the steps of belief which are before me. When I faced the times in my past I wrote about yesterday, I encountered this same demon. When I asked Jesus this morning what He wanted me to know from Him for today, He said it was time for me to recognize that His Holy Spirit is very desirous for me to let Him fill this chasm with Truth, Belief, Trust, Confidence and more!

As I write this I know to apply the 3-R’s: recognize this demon, reject him in the name of Jesus and replace him with The Holy Spirit’s Presence which He is simply waiting for me to recognize and do. Jesus went on to show me I can then apply the 3-S’s: self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence. Each day of this recent journey brings me a step closer to the reality of actually counseling someone who struggles and doing it being called a counselor. I can’t begin to write here how grateful I am that Jesus trusts me to do this. I have invited the Holy Spirit into this chasm of mine this morning applying the 3-R’s and believing the 3-S’s. I am one most humble and grateful for our Lord and Savior and His most Precious Gift–The Holy Spirit.

Today is my middle daughter’s birthday. What a gift she is! She is one who walks the straight and narrow and is a glowing example for others who want to do the same. God is gracious to all who have the privilege of knowing her and calling her friend.

As I was journaling this morning I was telling Jesus about this hole within me. It is the hole of insecurity which seems enormous at the moment. I can call it that today. I’ve recognized it happening in my life a few other times. As I thought back I could pinpoint these: starting college, starting my teaching career, becoming a principal at the same time my divorce took place, going abroad to teach, retiring to do consulting. Now 15 years later, I’m experiencing this huge sense of insecurity again. However, when I wrote this out I instantly was reminded of yesterday’s message from Jesus–obedience with belief. All these other times I was obedient but my belief was questioning all the while until I got far enough into the work to know I was where God wanted me. This morning’s lesson for me was to believe today that I don’t need to question or doubt. My security doesn’t come from the world around me, but from the assurance that God’s Holy Spirit is within me guiding each and every step. I thank God for this reminder and this anchor He provides.

Yesterday when I asked God what He wanted me to know for the day He told me to relax and let Him take the lead. I’ve heard this message many times and am more committed to doing this now than ever before. I had received a package in the mail from the director of the consulting I do saying to open it today. That usually means today was going to be a training day and I had it on my calendar for tomorrow. I did open the box last night to see that it was to be today. I thought maybe it was a typo so I text my director only to find I’d not had it on my calendar correctly. I had to notify the principal at 9:00 last night that I’d be coming Wednesday rather than today. All of this turned out fine. This morning I thanked God for being my eyes so I could see what I would have truly messed up otherwise. God is far more interested in the details of our lives than I’ve ever given Him credit for.

Letting go of my old habits of thinking I have to be the manager of details in my life is not easy, God, however, is truly patient with me and each of us as we continue to be molded more and more into the image of His Son who is obedient and believes!

What a whirlwind of a weekend! Coming back from my work with the Montana district to a weekend packed with activity has left me spinning. I asked Jesus this morning what He wanted me to know for today as I was journaling and He reminded me that even though there is much going on, I don’t need to feel as though I’m in charge of it. My role is to be present and do my part. He has done His part and will be doing His part as each day comes. As I write this I am reminded of His message from yesterday and that is to be obedient coupled with belief.

I have never realized until now how much I have focused my life on obedience with doubt rather than true belief. I’ve suspected what I was doing was God-led but I’ve always wondered when the sledge hammer would come crashing down revealing the “true person” I am. Well, those days are now behind me. I am beginning to learn what obedience with belief is like. The best part so far is the removal of worry/anxiety. God is not wanting me doubting His leadership. I am to move forward with pure belief and trust. I’m so glad to be entering into this new area of learning!