As this journey continues I am beginning to notice something changing. I have never known daily living that didn’t have significant temptations to escape realities of living in it. As a little boy it would be to go away from the house and lose oneself in play or pretend. As an older boy on the farm it was going off to the fields without dad so you could be away from the fear of his moods. As a man I would live in a mindset that would attempt to block the torment of daily living. I found internet porn and that was a big blocker. However, living today no longer has the overcoming temptations to escape life. I find myself wanting to live life and assist others in doing the same with their own. While this is going on I don’t need to escape any longer. What I am writing here has been on my mind for quite some time now, but I’ve been cautious about putting it in the blog thinking if I do it will generate a host of condemnation which I’ve always feared in days gone by. I’m not sure if this will generate anything other than my revealing what life has been like in this body/mind of mine. God is truly teaching me to rely more and more fully on daily living in reality in Him and with Him.

A month ago we were preparing for a drought year for the farmers and our entire valley. Now, a month later, we have had abundant rain in the valley and snow in the mountains so that we are above 100% snow pack. We are all praising God for this. Then, this morning the frost is hitting. I awoke at 3:30 am to the windmills stirring in the orchards. I got up to check the temperature and it was 33 degrees. I had covered everything last night in preparation but, as I prayed this morning God reminded me to pray for all that He sent the rain for. He didn’t provide the rain so that what it would nourish could be killed by one night’s deadly frost. I went out in the morning cold and asked God to bring His protection to the very crops He sent the rain to grow. God is amazingly GOOD!

Over the weekend someone I cherish shared with me they are having an intense therapy session today. This person has been in denial about a good deal in the past and now they are ready to face it. I so love how God uses His Light to awaken what we want to stay blinded to. Today is the beginning of a new dawning for this person. Praise God!

Yesterday was such a nice day. Church was wonderful, I came home and was able to complete the last project for the spring readiness of gardening this season, took a little nap and then all of our family gathered together to celebrate the Moms. What a wonderful time it was.

I keep mentioning in this blog that the details of our lives are of great importance to God. I do this because God is convincing me of this relevance from Him to each of us. Throughout my life I’ve not wanted to bother God with details–just major events. Yet, God has been wanting me all along to let Him enter into every aspect of my life–including what I’ve called minor. I’m beginning to see too that He wants entrance into them because what I’ve called minor are often the selfish things I want to do but not sure God is wanting me to do them. These things have been ones like having a big garden, an abundance of flower pots on the deck, big flower beds in the yard, etc. All of these take time from me for which I truly enjoy. I’ve never asked God is He wants me doing them, I’ve always asked if He’d help me get them done hoping He enjoys them like I do.

What I am learning is to TRUST God to lead me in every aspect of my life–little or big. All of my time is His to lead. If He is leading me away from some of “my loves” I know He will give new “loves” in their place. I will do and go where He wants.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms! What a glorious creation God made when He created each of you to be the mom’s you are.

Yesterday I mentioned about going back to the reunion. During the chapel 3 of the classmates told glimpses of their lives during these past 50 years. What was incredibly evident from two of them was the work of The Holy Spirit in their lives. In addition to this, a couple we sat with at the two meals talked deeply about The Holy Spirit’s work in their lives. I’ve known I have The Holy Spirit within me but I’ve also disbelieved I could be His tool. God has been doing a great deal of healing for me in this area of belief committing to believe I’m a new creation. This morning as I was journaling I wrote that I wanted to have what these classmates have and what the book of Acts is talking about as I read through it in my bible reading.

I always ask Jesus what He wants me to know for today and this is what I heard Him say: “My son, if you think you are ready for a step outside of My work in your life, you’re again thinking selfishly. I want you thinking openly about My desires for you. The Holy Spirit’s manifestation is so much bigger/immense than a couple of actions man wraps his mind around. The Holy Spirit personalizes God Himself in you. This is My role in preparing you for this next step. Lets get the temple ready for the next step, My son.” I couldn’t help but sit here in awe at God’s Wisdom so far beyond that of man!

Yesterday was an interesting day in a couple of ways. I had much I was wanting to get done since this is my last weekend to get the last of the spring gardening/yard work finished. We leave next weekend for Oklahoma for our granddaughter’s graduation. As the day started it was calm so I wanted to spray weeds only to find I didn’t have any spray left for one of the ingredients. I started early in the morning moving all of the plants from the greenhouse to the deck for potting all of the pots. I began to plant until the store opened so I could get the spray I needed. I then sprayed all that was needing attention. I went back to planting pots and had them done in time to shower and head to the college reunion. The rest of the day was primarily occupied with it.

The remarkable part of the day for me was first, getting the pots done in such a short period of time. It usually takes me a day and a half and yesterday I had it done in half a day. In that half a day I’d also gotten the spraying done which took a couple hours of it. I had been dreading seeing all of the college folks only because they really didn’t know “the real me”. This morning as I was journaling God reminded me that all of the classmates are His kids too and He has walked them through their own stories. I should have known this, but it was a nice reminder that we are all human with common temptations and weaknesses.

I go back this morning for a breakfast and a chapel service. I’m singing in the worship team for it. I go this morning celebrating rather than dreading. God really does care about the details of our lives and wants us to know how He fits into every one of the details.

Yesterday was my Aunt Billie’s birthday and today is my younger brother’s birthday (he’s 10 months and 6 days younger than me). He, along with two older brothers, made plumbing their life. The three of them owned a plumbing shop and retired one by one from it. I have leaned on this brother throughout my life for so many of the things which come about that I’m not good at doing. These are things like repairing a faucet, fixing an underground sprinkling system, replacing a doorknob, assembling a greenhouse and a host of others! We are as different as night and day, but some say we have a lot in common–only God knows what that is.

Today and tomorrow is my college graduation 50 year reunion. I am going to “most” of it. I have dreaded this since the day I registered Kathy and my attendance. When I’d started college I was only months away from the sexual abuse of my brother stopping and my father’s verbal abuse was still in full swing. The day I was to move onto campus my dad left the farm and took the car keys so I wouldn’t have a way to get there. Luckily, mom had a key even though she didn’t drive. So, she and one of my older brothers took me to the college and dropped me off with my bag of clothes. Others had family with them excited to be there, I tried to enjoy their excitement. For me it was more of a relief being away from dad and being “on my own”.

I write all of this because no one knew any of this person’s past and no one knew any of it 4 years later when we graduated. Getting together with them today makes me feel like I need to confess to them all what a “loser” I was–they just didn’t know it. I know the lie this is, so I’m going to reflect the truth that I’m a new creation just like each of them. My value comes from God and my past had nothing to do with value, it had to do with being born into a sinful world just like everyone else. Wow, it is good to write this out.

Today is the birthday for my Aunt Billie. There is so much history connected to her and my life. She is the one when I was young and living in California, who would take all of us kids for a day. We would go to the zoo, Disneyland, ocean, or to the park. She would make life fun for a day. My dad didn’t like her and only he could tell you why. Today, when we go to California to visit my family there she is always a part of our visit. She has helped clear my confusion regarding my “worth” to our family. What a gift this lady is! Happy birthday Aunt Billie!

There are only a couple of months left to the consulting work I have been doing with schools. Each day is one filled with reflection and completion of present needs. In my heart I know I’m moving forward into a new area of ministry I’d never dreamed I’d do. God is so AMAZING and so patient as He prepares us for His Kingdom Work. I love this Father God!

A good friend of mine left this past weekend to go to his son’s state of residence due to a severe car accident he had. They have asked for prayer for him with multiple concerns. As I was reading my devotional this morning it’s title read: Praise Is Your Key. This is the devotional that each member of our quartet uses and this friend is part of it. I text him wanting him to know today’s message is very much for him and his son. I was going to take a picture of the message and send it to him but he text back and said he had the devotional with him.

It is so easy to praise and thank God for things I’ve written about in the past couple of days. My grandson gets a job of his choice, he finds a car he likes and is able to secure the loan. I easily praise and thank God for His abundant blessings. Then, something critical happens which can jeopardize a person’s life and future–and we praise God? The devotional says in part, “Choose to praise me and offer me songs of love and surrender, especially when the enemy is leaning heavily upon you, and you will rise victorious….”

I don’t know how God uses these times of deep distress, but I am confident He will. It is a test of Trust and Faith, but our God is worth all of it!

I have a grandson graduating from high school in a few weeks along with a granddaughter. She is in Oklahoma and the grandson lives locally. He has not had a fatherly influence most of his life. When he was very young, 3ish, he asked if he could call me dad? That innate desire within kids is strong. I’ve often pondered how God works with children differently than with adults? It seems the authority over kids stems to their parents, but what happens when this isn’t the case for them? Grandma and I have tried to be a Godly influence for them, but I’ve wondered even from my own past about this item for children.

This past Friday I took this grandson car shopping. He has enough money for a down payment. He found the car he wanted and we went to a credit union to get the financing. His loan was denied since he had no credit even though I was co-signing and my credit is strong. Saturday morning he was helping me with work in the yard. I was nudged to talk with him while eating breakfast about the power of prayer. I asked if he had asked God for help finding finances and help finding the right job? He said he didn’t pray much. I told how my grandmother taught me the importance of prayer when I was his age and how she modeled it in her daily living. The modeling was also true from my mom but she was very quiet unlike my grandma.

Well, leaving many details out here, yesterday, once school was out, this grandson secured a loan in his name with my co-signature so he now gets his car. Secondly, he was notified that he is being given a job with Home Depot and he goes in tonight to put his work schedule together. As we walked away from the credit union late yesterday afternoon he said, God sure answers prayer! Isn’t God AMAZING!

I am convinced it is no coincidence that I’m reading the devotional I am along with the Passion Bible at the same time. Both are written by the same author and inspired by the same author–God Almighty. Each day the messages coincide with great inspiration and clarity for living the day and being prepared for the coming days.

I’m into the birth of The Holy Spirit infilling the disciples and empowering them to do what Jesus commanded them to do. Also, this infilling completes Christ’s promises to them as to why He needed to leave so The Holy Spirit’s empowerment could do just what He has begun to do with them. Today as I was reading my devotional it says: “Many are searching for what I’ve given you. Take this gift and bring it to those who are near. See each person through my eyes of compassion. show mercy as I have shown you mercy. Never allow the sin of others to stir judgment within you….”

It has taken a long time for God to help me understand who I am to Him and to believe it. I’m truly not done with this yet either. But, what I am done with is giving in to the lies of Satan about the Power and Might of The Holy Spirit God has given to me. The judgment of others’ sins has been something troubling to me all through my life. Yet, I love and appreciate the command to never allow the sin of others to stir judgment. Instead, I am to share the mercy just as God has shared His mercy with me. I want to do this well for Him.