California is a beautiful place this time of year. The hills are covered with wild lilac blooming. We drove to the coast and saw the fields of ranunculus in full bloom. They are beautiful–much like the fields of tulips one finds in Holland or in northern Washington. We had my older sis with us. Yes, she is losing ground but she will likely be with us for some time yet. It is her mind which is slowly slipping away at this point.

The book of John is such a different read this time. Jesus is truly alive and speaking a language the world around Him does not comprehend even though it is their common language. It is the message of the words which are not understood. Jesus is talking with a spiritual intent. John, as the author, by the time he writes his book, has caught this intent and is able to write the book with this in mind. It is amazing how so many of Jesus followers kept their intent for Him front and center as they heard him and translated his message to fit them. How often I have done this today and how I have grown to understand that my intent or translation of Jesus work starts with my own selfishness. It isn’t until I recognize this that I can surrender it and then begin to see Christ’s richer, fuller intent and purpose. This Christ we serve is such a Savior and such a Friend!

We are here! Southern California is always a treat for me to visit. I keep telling myself we are only here for a week and I can’t stay. As soon as I arrive my emotions jump to figuring out a way to stay here. Yet, I know as soon as I walk into my yard at home I know I am at the right place and that is where I want to be. The oranges, avocados, lemons and more are ripe and at the fruit stands. I love all of this!

We will go see my older sis today. My sis Bonnie tells me she is losing ground which will be hard to experience but I’m putting that away so we can simply enjoy the time we will have together.

The book of John is alive. I’ve always known that John had an intimate relationship with Jesus unlike any of the other disciples. One can see this in just the way his book is written compared to the other gospels. The first three gospels tell about Jesus’ time on earth. John does the same, but he does it through relationships being built. He brings out the living, loving, compassionate Jesus in spite of all that He endured while on earth to complete His Father’s purpose for His coming.

When I first started reading the bible I found it offensive when John and his brother asked Jesus, from their mother’s prompting, if they could have the seats on either side of him in heaven. I read that and thought they were just filled with too much ego. Behind this ego of John was a loving, longing heart that understood Christ’s purposes and His Heart. John is the one Christ said to care for His mother after his death which John did. I love what John writes about Christ and the relationship he had with Him. I believe Christ wants this with all of us as we better surrender and obey His every nudge in our lives.

March has come–Spring is upon us, the wedding was superb, now it is to California we go. My biggest hope yesterday was for God to be glorified. I believe He was. The brilliance of His Light seemed to glow and my heart is full.

There was an unexpected blessing yesterday morning. My ex-wife and I were able to talk about our own pasts and the lies we believed about ourselves while we were married and what led to our divorce. Kathy was listening to us and I knew she was praying. My ex-wife’s ex-husband was also present and he had tears rolling down his cheeks while this conversation took place. It really was a healing moment for everyone present. I shared with her the Mending the Soul material we use for abuse victims with our restoration classes at church. This is what did so much good for me a year ago. I believe she will find someone to go through it with when she gets home. She has her own story which God is waiting to heal.

Our God is such an loving, amazing God–full of patience and wisdom waiting for us to finally see Him even in the tortuous past which Satan has used against us throughout our life. Yes, God does provide a way of escape once we finally take the step of faith into what we call darkness so the penetrating Light of His Love can shatter the darkness and shed Light onto the Truth of His Healing Love. This started yesterday morning in an area I never thought would happen. Praise God!

Today is the big day–this afternoon at 2:00 pm. After the ceremony everyone will come back to our home and we will have a BBQ and dinner. The group is only about 25 total with kids and adults. Yesterday was filled with activity but somewhat relaxing too. Tomorrow Kathy and I fly to S. Calif. to be with my two sisters there. We need to find time for packing, but I know this will fit into the day. Details have a way of fitting in at the right time if we (I) don’t fret.

It is the end of February, but for some reason the one devotional I’m reading of Oswald Chambers as well as my scripture reading are hitting on Christ’s crucifixion and it’s fullness in meaning as though it is Easter. Oswald says that God didn’t have Christ come to the cross for man, but for God Himself. God knew man could never make it through sinful earth without this Savior. God still wanted His creation to be free to come to Him. So, He created the path through His Son at the Cross. When I read this, this morning, I got a mental picture of myself standing at the Cross. If I looked ahead I saw the Light of Jesus. If I looked behind me I saw my past and all the sin involved in it. The farther I walk into the Light of Christ from the Cross, the more brilliant the Light becomes. It is a glorious picture!

Today my daughter and her soon to be husband will stand together to unite in marriage. I will encourage them to look around them and ahead of them. There is a brilliant Light when we look ahead recognizing our past is now behind. All that it entailed is behind if we let it go at the Cross of Christ. Christ did His Father’s Work so we can choose to know God as He wanted to be known to us! Loving and Kind and yet King!

Everyone is here for tomorrow’s wedding. That is not very many in total number, but, it is a ton of emotion and support. It was odd for a moment last night as we got together, yet it seemed so natural and comfortable. I wanted to say–Thank You God my Father! How could an ex-husband and ex-wife get together with her second ex-husband and the two kids who were the result of the first marriage, all be together in the same house with the first ex-husband’s wife of today and be laughing and having a great time? Yet, it was happening and we were thankful. The two ex’s are staying here with Kathy and me and all is well. It is amazing how God heals wounds and brings about lasting relationships in spite of man’s choices.

Yesterday was a gift. I got most of the raspberries pruned, dug 100 plants out to give away today and still had time to shower and get ready for Celebrate Recovery. This God of ours is truly AMAZING and so FORGIVING. How much I want to serve Him well.

It was so good to get home last night. My unexpected blessing of the day was spending the driving time with the new director of the federal programs we were reviewing with the school district. She is young, energetic, thorough and very outgoing making it easy to get to know her. It made the 6 hour drive go by much quicker. She is also a christian, both her and her husband. The review ended very well and was the blessing God intended.

All night long I kept dreaming of garden problems. The watering didn’t work right, the crops planted weren’t germinating, the berries were only half bearing and more. I kept awakening realizing it was still February and it’s not time to plant anything yet. I do hope to prune the raspberries today before the guests arrive later this afternoon for Saturday’s wedding. It does tell me that my heart is in the garden–it is anxious and eager all at the same time!

The challenge of this morning’s devotional time seemed to center around my purpose for being a Christ follower. Do I follow Christ for the blessings of being a believer or do I follow Christ because I know Christ and want to be face to face with Him and His Father? It did cause me to think, but it did not take long to know that my only reason for following Christ is to know Him. Blessings accompany this relationship but more that blessings is the deep settled peace in my soul. This is the Joy of the Lord which obedience to Him offers. I know I am a sinner saved by GRACE, but I also know this saving grace is permanent and solid!

Today we will wrap up the work with the school district and have what is called the exit conference right after lunch so we can then head home. I am so glad this is turning out this way. It will give two days to get things ready for the wedding Saturday along with our leaving the next day for California! I’m looking forward to all of this.

I am stymied this morning knowing what I’m to write at this point. In finishing the book of Luke in my scripture reading, Christ has ascended having risen from the tomb and revealing himself to those the scriptures point out. There is great celebration in all of this. I find myself not wanting to celebrate, but to leave this place so I can get home where celebration will soon be taking place. However, I need to stay focused and do whatever needs to be finished so we leave this step of today’s journey with a celebratory finish. With this said, I need to do my part and so I will. The next celebration will be much better if I do today’s work well and not leave any guilt in it.

Alright. i’m ready!

If you have read any of Oswald Chamber’s writings you know what a struggle he had surrendering his life to God, but when he finally did, he was sold out completely. Because of this, much of his writings challenge the reader to be sold out to God. He goes deeply into what that looks like. I read one of these this morning. Then, following this devotional reading I read Luke chapters 21 & 22. This is where Peter denies Christ three times before the rooster crows. What did Peter do, he left, went away from the crowd gathered around Christ as He proclaimed Himself the true Son of God. When Peter got away–he wept.

I have found in my own life so many times when I challenged the nudges I felt Christ wanting me to take. There would be the moments when I would weep, but I would weep because I plead with Christ not to make me tell. I didn’t want to look like my dad or my brother or anyone else who struggled and caved in to the struggle. Thus, I served God much of my life doing things for Christ, but staying too often in control of what I did for Him. I wanted to feel safe in the doing.

Today, realizing that total surrender doesn’t mean partial, it means total. Every nudge Christ gives us is to be obeyed. I have found that in obedience comes the JOY found in the fruits of the Spirit. It is the second characteristic: Love, Joy…. I would have never believed the shame of telling my story was only a lie from Satan. Telling my story brings Joy to my soul. This is Christ’s charge for me. I want to obey Him always.

Yesterday was a full day of unexpected blessings. It seemed to start with a choir number that blessed everyone, then a step study where the men were so open and honest and intimate with themselves, God and the rest of us. It continued into the afternoon as I worked on the wedding ceremony for my oldest daughter which is coming this Saturday, then a quartet practice which was such a blessed time. It ended with dinner when my oldest grandson came and was so open and vulnerable about his growth in life and his growing walk with God.

As this week begins I leave this morning for northern Idaho returning Thursday. The family members coming in for the wedding will be arriving that day with some staying with us. Kathy and I leave Sunday for California to spend a week with my two sisters. I had a call yesterday in between the activities from one sis telling me our older one is failing. The details made me want to cry. This sis has always been so easy to be with, talk to and laugh endlessly. Seeing her in this state will be tough. However, if we can give her a smile or two, it will be worth it all.

As I was ending my journaling this morning I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today? The response was immediate. It is Proverbs 3: 5&6. It reads: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on our own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” With so much going on and ahead, this was the perfect reminder that Christ is in the lead and all I have to do is my part which He makes clear at the right time.

I am reminded today that in everything–give thanks! My day yesterday turned out to be a blessing in several ways. We were able to get the vehicle at a reasonable price and my grandson loved it. He kept hugging and saying how thankful he is. Once we got home we ate and I took him to my favorite department store thinking all of their winter clothing would be on sale. He ended up finding several pieces of clothing which were 70% off. When we paid we got an additional 20%.

While we were eating lunch I was asked by my grandson why God, when He is God, allows so much cruel, hateful things? If He is really God, why doesn’t He do something about it? It really was a nice conversation and gave us the chance to talk about “choice” and the evil, cruel, hateful things which come out of man having this “gift of choice”. We talked about how we have the choice to choose God rather than being required to serve Him. He seemed to grasp this.

The opportunity to talk with our grandkids about these important topics doesn’t often come. It was brought up right after we had prayed and thanked God for the food we were going to eat and for His wonderful help in finding this vehicle. I use to have such thoughts and God’s power and why He didn’t use it more “wisely”and I shared them. I also shared how God has helped me see the difference between making a decision out of man’s thinking verses God’s Kingdom thinking. I think it was making sense to him.