There is one thing that is not impacted by needing to stay confined to home–my sleep pattern remains the same–maybe that has more to do with being old!

Last week I began to sit in on Zoom meetings one of the superintendents is having with his admin team and his teachers and aides. This was nice as it allowed me to know what is taking place in the development of virtual classroom instruction for them. It also revealed a couple of things I could actually do for them I thought. The superintendent had forwarded to me a link to a conference speaker he had listened to recently. This message encouraged us to not offer a blanket statement of willingness to help. Instead, the speaker suggested naming three ways you can see yourself giving help. This allows the recipient to take them or delete them if they aren’t of help to them. I did just that, I responded back to the superintendent with three ways I could see myself helping at this point in time. Today I will begin working on two of them since he said that would be of benefit to the district.

God has been nudging me to reach out to those on my prayer list I don’t regularly see at this point. I started that yesterday and will continue this. I find it is appreciated by them and it also gives me a lift too. It turns out to be an unexpected blessing. God really is amazing!

This morning I have been awakened to so many relevant points and I don’t want to lose sight of any of them. One of the things I’ve been noticing of late is that now that I have to stay home I have so much time to reach out to others. However, am I doing that? Very seldom. Instead, I find that I have all this time to be selfish. When life before the present was happening I would say when I was home that I have these things to get done so I need to be selfish. Now that I have ample time at home I still do this same thing–stay to myself. I find it is easy to write this blog when I don’t have to talk about it with anyone.

As I began my devotions the theme for the day was hitting upon “walking in the Light”. I John 1:7 says: If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.” Then, as I read more I found that the fellowship we have with one another never includes judgment of them. The second chapter of Romans starts with this command in the 1st verse: “…for in posing as judge and passing sentence on another you condemn yourself….” Oswald Chambers says that we are to reach out to one another right where they are and bless them where they are (not judge them where they are). The Light they are to follow is not us. The Light is Christ Jesus. We are to encourage them right where they are to seek the Light and to seek what they hear from God in the Light.

This introspective time I have is showing me so much more than I’d ever expected. I want to keep my eyes and ears focused on Jesus Christ alone. As I reach out to others I want to do so only as a support of the Light Christ is shining already. I am not to be the barometer of their walk, Christ wants me (us) to leave that with Him.

The journeys of Paul throughout the New Testament are so much more real as I am reading them this time in the book of Acts. Today I’ve started reading the next book: Romans. Paul has just arrived in Rome as Acts ends and now Paul is writing a letter to those of Rome. Just reading the first chapter of Romans gives a description of life in today’s society. How sad that is. Man, left to his own, always turns to himself wanting to make himself–self-sufficient. We want to be our own god not needing our creator God.

As I started my devotions this morning and reading Oswald Chambers, he says that sin leads to death while the new creation God gives to us when we accept Christ leads to life–eternal life. There have been over 2000 years which have past since Christ’s physical time on earth. Here we are still looking just like we did then. What have we learned?

In answering my own question I have to admit I have learned that I am a man who has needed to recognize my own pride, my own desire to be self-sufficient. I needed to admit my sins and begin to confess them. I’ve had to learn to TRUST that God will use all of life to bring man back around to Him. I’ve learned that all the lessons of life man had to learn 2000 years ago are still the lessons I must learn today. I cannot live on the lessons which Paul learned. I have to learn them for myself. And then to bring this home–I cannot learn the lessons in life for my own children and grandchildren–they must learn these for themselves. Yes, I can model and teach, but the lesson must be personalized for each of them. God intimately loves each of us and each of us must come to God on our own where we begin to build our own relationship with God our Father and His Family–Christ Jesus and The Holy Spirit.

Temptations truly are a part of daily living. I have said in times past that I loathed temptations. My sexual abuse was the result of me being the victim of my brother’s temptations. My verbal and physical abuse was the result of me being one of the victims of my dad’s yielding to his temptations during anger and pride fits. My emotional support which I never got from mom was a result of her fears and not knowing what to do except pray. Anytime I felt the emotions which seemed to resemble dad I thought that made me like him. Anytime I had sexual temptations I thought that made me like my brother. Now, all these years later I’m finally at a point where my temptations are seen as part of my daily life. I don’t mean to minimize them, but I do want a reader to know that they don’t own me and your temptations don’t need to own you if you struggle as I have.

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” I Corinthians 10:13. For years and years I wondered how this promise was true? It was one of the promises of scripture which fed my belief that I wasn’t worth much to God or He would have made this scripture true for me. What I didn’t know until more recently just how much God was protecting me so I could “bear it”. My being abused wasn’t my temptation–it was another’s temptation which they were acting upon. Man caused the abuse but God gave a way for me to bear it. Now God is giving me the freedom to know that it doesn’t own me anymore. Isn’t God AMAZING? How much I love Him.

A good deal of my devotions of late have been hitting upon the temptations of Jesus. I think we are all aware of Satan’s tempting Jesus during the 40 days in the wilderness. However, the writings have been more about the ensuing temptations. These would be the ones about following through with God’s plan for His Son. Jesus was not unaware of His purpose in coming as the human Son of God. It is in all of these tempting moments to compromise God’s plan, to soften it, to delay it, to call upon the hosts of heaven to destroy it–yet He did none of that. He faced God’s plan and completed it as God had intended.

I remember when I was in my first marriage and was told I wasn’t loved and that I was going to be divorced. Within a few weeks I was divorced and even though the divorce was written that I would have my kids half of every week, the day the divorce ended they were moved without my knowing to another state. Ten days later their mom had married another man. I was not only divorced but I was without my kids. I was also totally lost in my closet of fears regarding the abuse of my past. “I knew God was letting me know I was unfit to be a husband and I couldn’t be trusted with kids.” With this, one Saturday morning when I was having my devotions I told God I would always following Him but I could not longer fully commit to all He might want of me. I couldn’t bear the cost. It was too much and I was too weak. I knew somehow all of this loss was part of God’s plan (protection of others from me).

I have addressed this decision I had made back then more than once. However, I had never thought of it as being a sin of backing away from God’s plan until this morning. I confessed it and I know God has forgiven it. These last days of mine I want to be fully committed to all God would want this grandpa to be and do. How I wish I could have opened up 50 years earlier, but I’m not going to let that stand in the way of being open to Him today.

I found out yesterday late morning that I have possibly been exposed to this virus. One of our Celebrate Recovery leaders was diagnosed with it. The hospital called her husband to tell him the results came back positive. She had been told it wasn’t the virus and that she simply had pneumonia. They are now under quarantine. I had been with her 5 days before she began to have symptoms. Today is the 14th day since that exposure so I’m rather certain I’ll be fine. This did bring to me the reality for each of us to be very cautious during this time. It seems I heard God’s voice this morning reminding me to use His Spirit’s nudges as I do what I do rather than my own stubborn will. Sometimes it’s hard to determine this at the moment, but I do want to be smart and sensitive to God’s nudge. I’d hate to think I exposed anyone to this cruel virus.

We had an earthquake early last evening. It was an unusual experience and took me back to my early childhood when we lived in S. California where we had quake drills along with fire drills. The epicenter wasn’t close to us but more in the mountains 100+ miles northeast of us. My youngest grandson asked his mom if the earth was coming to an end?! I laughed when I heard this but I do realize that to a child, this can be a very alarming experience.

There are many signs of our human frailty taking place today. I pray man will look to God and not to himself as we move through this time.

It’s raining! Hallelujah! Some readers of this might not enjoy the rain like I do. But, living in a desert climate most of my life I know the importance of rain for the crops of the land. It brings out the farmer in my heart.

Today I get to virtually connect with the staff at the school district where I have spent the most time in these last two years. Everyone is gearing up for virtual classroom teaching. I don’t know if there is anything I can do for them at this point, but it is good to be able to connect to their meetings so I can stay abreast of what is taking place. I pray for them each day and know God will use this time as we commit it to Him and His leading.

Today my devotional brought to light the significance of temptation. I’ve struggled so much with this topic all of my life that I’ve loathed the word. Oswald Chambers said in the reading that temptation is not a sin–(I knew that–it just reminds me of the wickedness of sin and I’m now part of it because I’m tempted). He says that being tempted means we have a depth of relationship with Christ or we wouldn’t even be bothered by it. Also, no matter how close our walk with Christ is, we will encounter temptation. Our humanness is never not be with us as long as we’re here on earth.

This devotional was written around the scripture I Corinthians 10:13–“There has no temptation taken you but what is common to man. But, God is faithful and just to provide a way of escape….” This verse was given to me at a critical time in my high school days. I knew it should mean something important, but it didn’t seem to stop any of the abuse taking place at that time. I misunderstood it and have for such a long time. I wanted this promise to stop the abuse. However, the promise is for me and my sin, not for my brother and his sins or my dad and his sins. There are other promises God gives for me with them.

Today’s devotion shows me that temptation doesn’t make me a sinner. It makes me human. I loved being reminded of this. God is always so good at showing us His Light in our areas of darkness.

As I began my journaling this morning and asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, His message was about reflecting Him as I live. He was bringing to memory how hard I’ve worked to stop the repetition of sin in my life and to help others do the same. Today He was emphasizing the need to not only do this, but in the absence of sin in life, there needs to be a reflection of Christ replacing it. In other words, it is one thing to stop sinning, it is another thing to now be a reflection of Christ. To emphasize this even more, this was the exact message of my devotional. I told God, “Thank you, I got the message.” Somehow I think this must happen without us consciously knowing it. I surrender my will to the leading of The Holy Spirit today.

This afternoon there is an event to take place at our home. It involves a virtual counseling session for another couple. I won’t go into it’s details, but I do pray for Christ to be fully seen in this and His healing to begin as a result of it.

The world is shut down in many ways as far as man goes. However, God’s Work is never shut down. He is continuously at Work completing His Plan. Somehow I want to stay connected to this as He leads through His Holy Spirit.

I think I’d mentioned helping a widow move into a senior citizen apartment yesterday. My younger brother and I helped a small group with this. I’ve known this lady since my birth. She says she changed my diapers in the church nursery. This same lady worked in my school for a time while I was principal and was a wonderful help to so many children and even their parents. It was a joy to give back to her in a way that helps her in this time of her life.

My brother was also a big help to Kathy and me. We had, what I thought, was a minor plumbing problem. As he tore into it I found it to be much bigger, yet he had it fixed in a matter of an hour or so. The day ended with him and his wife staying for BBQ’d steaks.

Yesterday felt like a typical day in many ways. There were a number of things to do and we did them. However, I move into today and it is a day without the things to do. In fact, it is the first Sunday where I’ve not been on a vacation of sorts that has nothing to do. Yes, I will listen to our pastor give the sermon in a streaming fashion, but there is no worship, no choir, no class–all of which seem like “things to do”. This idea of doing is truly drilled into my identity so reworking that into each day is requiring some letting go of what I thought made me worthwhile.

The day will come when each of us will look back at this time and reflect on all of the learning we gleaned from this time of earthly crisis. I want to learn them from God’s Spirit’s leading and not from man. To God be the Glory for He is our Lord, Teacher and Guide.

In my humanness I have always thought that obeying Christ meant doing something for Him. Even though I know from scripture that obeying Christ might mean not doing something at this present time. In my scripture reading this morning of Acts 16, Paul and Silas were not given permission by the Holy Spirit to enter Asia. Instead, they were led to another city.

Yesterday, my post talked about my frustration with our step study for Celebrate Recovery. I needed to let the men know what virtual platform we would use to continue our weekly meetings. I knew I couldn’t do it with one of the platforms so I was researching others I could use. It wasn’t until later in the day that God finally got into my mind that obedience at this time was to “not go there”. As I talked to a couple of the individuals in the group I found that they had obstacles to a virtual platform. It simply wouldn’t work for them. Options could be meeting with each one individually, but I also knew that this removed each one’s ability to listen to each other’s responses to the important questions. The Holy Spirit uses this time to open one’s mind and heart. I finally realized that obedience was going to look like “not doing”. I finally got it!

It seems like such a small item, pausing a group getting together. However, for me, I felt like I was letting everyone down. Obedience to God really is about obeying the nudges we get. I spent half of yesterday learning that obedience wasn’t about another way around the problem. It was all about not going there at this time. The door will open again and when it does, we will know to start. Simple obedience–not such an easy lesson for me.