Last night was our monthly Celebrate Recovery leadership meeting. I serve as the co-Trainer for our team. Because of the impact “portal” has had on me these past couple of days, I put together a lesson study for us to process through in the meeting. I was deeply impressed with the conversation and gleaned a good deal from it.

There were 12 people present and not a one of them was without something for which they struggle–(I’m not alone with my struggle). Secondly, everyone had information about what to do at the portal, but, putting what I know into practice? This was the second struggle. Many of these struggles are things one “wants to do”. I found that sleeping in instead of getting up to have devotions was one of these struggles brought to the table last night. Every time/everyday, it is a choice.

Something I felt God made clear for me in this conversation was that I was not the one who was to step through the portal. I am the one with the struggle/temptation, but it is my choice to invite The Holy Spirit to step through the portal which will then bring LIGHT into the approaching darkness. This step of invitation is what a maturing “new creation” takes or is learning to take.

I think the most thoughtful lesson I’ve learned from these past few days is found in I Corinthians 10:13. In this scripture Paul points out that there is no temptation which is not common to man. I have always felt my temptation/s was hugely uncommon to man, but in these past few days, and the conversation of last night, I find the truth of this scripture. All that I struggle with and have struggled with is common. Satan has wanted me to believe his lies. God is even more determined that I will not only know His Truth, but I will also believe it is for me. Today, I know and believe. How humbling and praiseworthy this is!

I sit at my computer this morning wondering if I should write more about yesterday’s blog? I have to confess that what I’d written about the portal stayed with me the entire day and is still with me this morning. I wanted the portal to give direct access to the Power of God–The Holy Spirit so that in so doing, the temptation would be destroyed and done away with. However, God doesn’t deliver His Power in the same way power is delivered in the hero movies I sometimes like to watch. God’s Power is usually engaged by the use of the choice He gave me at creation.

Choice has an abundant amount of power within it. When I am tempted, will I choose to walk away from it and occupy myself in something else? Will I call or text my sponsor? Will I surrender it knowing it will lead to sin if I don’t? I write all of this because when I stand at the portal where I have access to God’s Almighty Power, I must choose to do my part. Will I let go?

Beginning to be a new creation shows steps I have always wanted to take yet found myself weak at times in so doing. Opening my hands to let go or walking away from something is my choice at the portal. My part? I give it over to you Jesus so Your Promised Gift can now do His part. I love you for this Jesus!

As I was reading in my bible this morning–The Passion, I came across a passage that froze me in place. It was the concluding part of II Corinthians 12:10. It reads, “…for my weakness becomes a portal to God’s Power.” In my entire life I’ve never read anything or heard anything that made me want to say, WHAT???!!! like this did. Yet, as soon as I thought about it I knew there was a truth here God has been trying to teach me for quite sometime. I think it is right on track with His leading me into living as a new creation.

I know that when I am strongly tempted I am to surrender it and ask for The Holy Spirit’s help. Yet, something changes dramatically for me when I see temptation as a direct route to The Holy Spirit–a portal. I also know from James 5:16 that I am to confess these times of temptation to someone I trust. So I stand at the portal (temptation) confess it to a trusted friend and it is then I am in the presence of The Holy Spirit and His Power. Satan and his minions cannot be in this Presence. I literally can see this in my mind. I’ve never had such clarity for this.

If I were a kid I would think I just had an object lesson from my Sunday School teacher. Yet, this was my object lesson from God’s Word itself. I am AMAZED!

As I began my devotional time this morning my mind went immediately to the things I need to get done today. I even grabbed a piece of paper so I could write them down and not forget as the day progressed. I have always been this way, but as this day started and I had written the list, I was challenged by Jesus when I asked my daily question: “What do you want me to know from you for today?” He reminded me that my value was not determined by the tasks I complete in a day. All of my life I’ve been driven “to do”. What Jesus is wanting me to know is that a “new creation” understands that he is already valuable to his DAD–Yahweh.

What really hit me was that at the end of the day I don’t need to ask my Heavenly Father if I am loved for what I did today? I don’t actually ask Him that. What I do however, is wonder in my mind and emotions if I have done enough to please my Father. God is wanting me to give this lie to Him once and for all. This new creation doesn’t need to ponder this any longer. The new truth needs to take root–My Father already loves me! Thank You Jesus for modeling your understanding of love and Your Dad. Somehow, Jesus knew this about His Heavenly Father. He knew Him well enough to obey Him all the way to the Cross. This same Father is mine–ours.

Jesus was crucified for all of us. I only need to crucify all the lies I’ve believed along with pride, wrongly thinking those lies gave value. I can freely surrender these seeing much more clearly today.

Yesterday’s blog entry told an immense message about transform. God will transform us into Christ’s image if we will listen and obey Him once Christ lives within us and we have The Holy Spirit. I KNOW this well, but living it out seems so little at this point in my life. I went to the men’s shelter in Boise yesterday with some clothing and other things the one man I was writing about yesterday wanted. I called his father first to make sure he was ok with me coming for them. All of these things were strewn throughout a battered, rusted, rundown pickup which doesn’t run and is parked in the father’s yard. The father will no longer support him due to so many, many times of being burned by his son.

The shelter is a beautiful facility. I knew it was quite new replacing the original one. What I hadn’t anticipated was the sight of scores of men aimlessly walking around with the look of hopelessness. Men who look like they are are 20+ years older than their bodies.

I was journaling about this to Jesus. He reminded me that I am about to be exposed to much more than the results of alcoholism and drug abuse as I start this counseling venture. If I only keep my eyes on man and his problems I will quickly be overcome. His message was to always be looking up to Him and listening carefully to Him helping the one before me to look up with me as best as they can at the time. Jesus is always there waiting to be found. Knowing how to look up is only a first step.

The word transform is something that living for Jesus will eventually do for us if what we are doing is truly “living for Jesus”. I have lived most of my life “knowing” scripture and living for Jesus by “doing” things for him. I have always been committed to the church and to serving others through the church. However, God is bringing forth the depth of meaning to transform as I move forward in living as a “new creation”.

My devotional this morning brings what I am writing about to this Light. It says: “…As you keep your heart before me, allowing me to purify you, you will see change happen that you cannot orchestrate yourself. When you walk in wholeness, you’re able to love with perfect love–love that expects nothing in return, love that loves without any agenda. Don’t rehearse the problems of others, but come in humility, so I can change you. Set love as a torch that burns in your heart, and you will see the restoration of all things.” This is written from Luke 6:41-42.

This weekend I’m intending to see a couple of men who are needing help. I have had a mental agenda in mind when I am with each one, but this message reminded me to do my part by showing up and letting God’s agenda be what takes place. My part is to go and let God’s agenda complete itself once I’m there. His Spirit within me will help me discern what I’m to do while there. I cripple God’s agenda when I go expecting to fulfill my own. God wants me looking like Jesus and not looking like Earnie.

I know I’m into summer routine when each day has a good deal of similarity to any other day. The month of July has always been the month when I didn’t need to keep track of days. Little is done in the educational world during this month. Most try to use it for their vacations and unwinding. For me, I’d love using the time for gardening and yard work in the early mornings and by noontime I’d be ready to enjoy a book and take a quick nap. Today, having retired from the educational pattern of my life, I still do the early morning yard and garden work and work in a lesson for the counseling program. One cannot do a good job of biblical counseling if one is not grounded in theology. I’m finding that the class is almost all theology. It’s somewhat amazing to me to have read the bible through well over 30 times in my lifetime only to find that now I’m seeing so many ways it applies to my everyday living and helping others to do the same.

God never stops teaching and leading us. He is such a good Father!

Today my youngest daughter turns a year older. Little did I know when God gave us this gift what lessons He wanted me to learn from her. She has always seen the world through a different lens than myself and what I had thought was important, well, it was only important to folks who agreed that it was important. She doesn’t stress over what I’d stress and yet she stresses over what I would not. In all of this we have loved one another and I have thanked God a thousand+ times for this GIFT she has been.

There is much God has been wanting me to learn of late. The most recent lesson centers around what a new creation looks like who is maturing in Faith, Trust and Hope. I have been seeing so many times where I will say I’ve given this or that to God, but in reality, I have just let it go and quit caring about it. God is bringing to mind the importance of living in Faith–Believing that even when I see nothing developing, He is actively working. It is like a seed has been planted in me and it’s starting to take root. I’m now starting to better understand my role in always believing and work much more on my doubting.

I’ve been fighting a summer cold the last couple of days and today, I think I’m going to win. It is breaking up. In years past I would have thought that God was giving me a sign to quit doing what I was doing or working on when a sickness hit. (I rarely have this happen). However, this time, I just chalked it up to being a grandpa who is getting older and needs to take care of himself. The new creation I am is still in a body of flesh.

Yesterday I wrote about the need to wait for God’s timetable and do so in faith believing He is working. This is the case for me with a couple of people needing help but they aren’t seemingly ready to receive the help without wanting to stay in control. I think we call this hitting rock bottom. I know God is working even when there isn’t any evidence man can see. I’m trusting God for I know He loves these men and I know they want to serve Him, but struggles have them occupied in controlling ways. I pray this rock bottom will hit sooner than later.

I had a very interesting devotional time this morning. As I began to journal it didn’t seem there was too much to address with Jesus so I quickly wrote my daily question to Him–“What do you want me to know from You for today?” He asked me how I knew what I write each day from Him is actually from Him? I found this interesting because I had never questioned this voice and message. I told Him it started when I was addressing the young Earnie and over the months the voice messages seemed to grow into ones of wisdom. The messages never went against scripture and would always complete or support scripture promises.

As I began to read my devotional, its title was “True Faith Knows How to Wait”. Its message was learning to trust God’s Word and His Voice. When the message sought doesn’t come, it simply means to wait. When other other voices/messages come use the Shield of Faith to distinguish them.

Lastly, as I went to God’s Word, the chapter title was “Living by Faith”, II Corinthians 5. God is bringing out the importance of this chapter’s title–Living by Faith. Trusting God’s timing is often a stretch for we all like to have our wants/desires met even when they seem to be unselfish ones: our children’s safety and decisions, the choices of those seeking help from us, etc. God’s message to wait for His Work to complete itself and have complete faith in His Work is my message for today.