Yesterday’s lesson continued into this morning’s devotional time. Yesterday’s question was asking if I see God in the present darkness? Today, from a totally different source the question was asked if I have thanked God for His work in the darkness for which I see? Yesterday’s question came from one of my devotional books. Today’s question came from my bible reading and a comment Joyce Meyer added. My bible reading is into Judges and Gideon’s visit from the Angel of God.

I have heard Gideon’s story all my life. Most of the time Gideon is criticized for being cowardly and requiring God to give him abundant assurance that he should do what God is asking of him. However, Joyce brought out a point in today’s reading which was what I needed to hear in response to yesterday’s devotional question about the present darkness.

All of us believers know that God is ultimately in control. If you are like me, you have momentary times when we forget this truth and our fear, worry, anxiety takes over wondering what in the world is next? The point in my bible reading which stood out to me was that when Gideon was shown by God that He was with him, Gideon praised God for not only being with him, but for the victory God was promising.

At a personal level I have character defects I deal with everyday. But, I’ve never thanked God for removing them ahead of time. I thank God for working with me on them and for removing ones which are gone, but God is wanting me in my faith to believe His Work will complete itself in me. This morning for the first time I thanked God for the the outcome of the work He is doing knowing I have failed all the time, but He has never failed! This is true of personal items as well as world-wide ones. Thanking God ahead of time demonstrates our Trust! I want to get much better in this lesson of life.

“Is your ability to see God blinded?” This was the opening question of my devotional this morning. My immediate answer was, “yes”. Where does God fit in all of the happenings of our present world, country, community? The devotional went on to ask where I’ve been looking? If I am looking at the events and not beyond them I will be troubled. If I look at man and his behaviors I will be troubled. If I look to man to address these troubled situations I will be troubled. The bigger question then became, “Who is my god?” If I only look to man I have made my god out to be quite small and he certainly isn’t the God for Whom I accepted as my Lord and Savior. What a good reminder it was to look beyond the issues of today and see GOD. In all of what is taking place, God is still very much in control. It is here I place my trust.

I have such a habit to seeing a problem and quickly diverting my attention away from it avoiding its reality. However, the lesson God is staying firm with is the lesson of learning to look only to HIM for my action rather than diverting my attention away from it. If I wait patiently until I do see God I can either relax in the time of waiting or I can clearly see any action God is wanting me to take. This is a big lesson for me–I’m going to be here for a while, but I stay here to better learn how to see God in all things.

Today I awoke early as I often do. As I got up there seemed to be a list of many things I needed to get accomplished forming in my mind. However, as I sat down to journal with Jesus about all of them there were only a very few to write down. Once that was done the pressure dissipated and I felt at peace again. I began to read my devotional and of course its topic was worry. The author said that when we step into worry Satan tries to take charge. When we don’t confront it we have doubts, confusion and insecurity. All of this is what Jesus was wanting me to see and address this morning. I am a very grateful follower of Jesus Christ. He is a most trustworthy Savior, King and Friend.

As I began to read the first chapters of Judges this morning I saw myself. It is incredible that 3,000 years+ later, we still behave so much like the people did then. The lessons we learn from living life are repeated over and over. We cannot learn a lesson and then pass the learning down to the generations which follow. We can tell the stories of our lessons, but most, if not all of us have to experience the pain of lessons in order to make them true for us. I’m sure this is why we are taught that each one of us needs to accept Christ Jesus as our personal Savior and Lord. We cannot do this for someone else just like we cannot learn a lesson for them. Jesus is very personal and there’s a very good reason for this. How much I love Him!

The last sentence of yesterday’s post didn’t make sense. “He is the One who conquered the grace….” It was suppose to read, He is the One who conquered the grave….” Sorry for not catching it!

Yesterday turned out to be an amazing day. I went to a men’s breakfast at our church and left early to meet with a man in our step study who hadn’t come for 3 weeks and I knew he was struggling. He came to our home so we could meet privately. On my way from church to home I called my prayer warrior. I gave her some information about this gentleman and she said she’d be praying. This turned out to be a 2.5 hour meeting where a great deal of hurt was revealed. Satan, like he always does, had turned this hurt into beliefs. As the beliefs were spoken it was easier for him to recognize the lies they were. In asking if he wanted to face them and replace them, he said, “yes”. We made a plan to get him caught up with the group. After he left I contacted our prayer warrior telling her the time had been well spent. She told me of the scriptures she’d been praying over him during the time. How good God is and how faithful this servant is as she prays for God’s Kingdom Work to shed its Light into such darkness!

Today we have our Celebrate Recovery leadership meeting following the church services. I’m doing a training piece which I have sensed God putting on my heart. I’ve known God is wanting this done today, but I’ve fought the voices of past in preparing it. This is where I was reminded yesterday to replace these lies, which I did. God’s peace is now present and I have an expectation of joy to watch God’s Spirit work in us today.

The last couple of days have been ones of big lessons for which I’ve written. So, why should I be surprised by the fact I have been under attack? I’m to teach a leadership lesson on Sunday to our Celebrate Recovery leadership team as we have our meeting. I had all of it prepared and the packets made. However, all day I battled with the haunting thoughts of my inability to teach and my lack of worthiness to teach such a lesson. I battled temptations along with all of these thoughts. I went to bed early last night just to get them ended.

Today as I began my devotions I started to journal about this. Instantly Jesus was reminding me of His Promises and His scriptural directions which I’ve written here about numerous times. I was recognizing the attack but I wasn’t rebuking it and I certainly wasn’t replacing it with any of God’s promises. So, this morning Christ and I did this. I have to pause in writing this. I just get overwhelmed with gratitude for Christ’s faithfulness to us. As I rebuked the lies Christ was reminding me to apply self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence to replace them. All of these come from TRUSTING a God for whom I have grown to know as THE ALMIGHTY GOD AND KING! He is the One who conquered the grave and it is already done! Thank you!

The message of yesterday remains. I met yesterday morning with the man I do the book study with, I Give You Authority. The chapters we are in are now very personal as the author talks deeply about dealing with the inner struggles in life/temptations only we know about and rarely, if ever, talk about. These are the ones I referenced yesterday without identifying them. They may be the same for some of us, but each of us have them. The author identifies the struggle and writes definitively that the same authority we have over other demons is the authority we have over these. The struggle this time is that we vacillate about replacing them–we like them (without saying it out loud).

As I read my scripture today in Joshua, the children of Israel are dividing the land they’ve been given by God–boundaries are being set. Joyce Meyer writes that firm boundaries must be set in our own lives in order to live in the freedom God intends for us to have. This was the conversation I had yesterday with the gentleman I meet with. The Holy Spirit is nudging this man and me to now learn to use the authority of The Cross to Recognize, Rebuke and Replace these struggles (the 3 R’s I’ve written about). In so doing, firm boundaries must be set. I love how God orchestrates these lessons of life. He not only is our loving God, He is a masterful teacher as well.

A big lesson life continues to teach me is perseverance. When I was a child living through days on end of sexual use and the fear of dad’s physical and emotional abuse I would handle perseverance by living somewhere else in my mind. Pretending was a great therapy. God has wanted me to stop living in this world as soon as I was away from home. It was time to face life and the challenges of it.

I use to think persevere meant endurance. I endured the tormenting mind I had and all of its confusion. I hated it and tried my best to endure and push it away. I didn’t know the beauty of surrender and didn’t understand the freedom of confessing to someone I trust. I couldn’t trust anyone I believed. Over time God has taught that persevering isn’t stuffing, ignoring, hiding, but instead; it is facing, confessing and surrendering believing the promises of His Word are true. In so doing, I have found such grace, love and mercy.

Perseverance is a discipline God still works to complete in me. Instead of stuffing and enduring, He wants me to ask Him what I am to learn from the fears I face, the confusion I have? As I do this by facing it, telling it and giving it to God instead of trying to hide it, I find the peace that passeth all understanding and I learn that God is exactly as He says, A True God of Love!

I don’t know about you but I kept waking during the night and checking to see what results were indicating. It is evident that we will need a day or two in order to have a resolute answer. Throughout the history of man Satan has done tremendous damage to God’s original creation of man. We were created for fellowship with God and God gave us an entire earth to inhabit and enjoy. Yet, look what evil has done in taking our eyes off of God and onto man himself. When this happens we start to determine what “right” should look like and what “evil” also looks like. Each group of men throughout the world does this. The result? Look at our world’s situation and look within our own country.

God has given us a perfect outline of morality in His Word. He has asked us to take it seriously and live by it. He has also asked us to not judge one another, but to discern. In our flesh we judge all the time, but only in our spirit can we discern. Discerning never feels judgmental. It actually serves as a boundary. We know not to cross over that line for it will lead to real trouble. There is so much judgment in today’s world and so little discerning. At least, this is true in what we can visibly see and hear.

This present journey seems to halt for a moment while man makes a critical decision. My prayers are the same–Let your LIGHT so SHINE, JESUS CHRIST my KING! It is YOU I want to serve and obey.

Today the personal journey I daily write about takes a look at the national journey of our country. I have to confess that I sense a very dark cloud hovering over us. In our flesh we see this as man against man. In spirit I know it is a battle for man and for the heart of what God created man to be–His followers. Satan is spending his time attempting to destroy any nation or groups of people who proclaim Jesus as Lord and King. He doesn’t care if these people don’t call him lord. He just doesn’t want them knowing Jesus Christ as Lord.

With our eyes on man today, I have already been reminded to lift my eyes towards Heaven where I see a tremendously powerful LIGHT. I wish I knew the outcome of today right now. But, what I do know is the outcome of my lordship. It is to Jesus Christ my King! I pray the day is still present when our nation stands firmly on the ROCK of Jesus Christ and our leadership holds fast to supporting this.

Today I raise my hands in praise to God our Father for His promises. These promises are mine and ours. Today is a very important day, but it pales in comparison to the choice of our Eternal King. This choice is not an election, but instead, it is a choice of our heart. I never want to lose sight of this as our country battles over choosing a man.

When I wrote my book in 2015 and felt led to give it the title: The Journey From Error to Heir, I did so because I was learning about living life knowing I am a child of the King. Then, as I began to write this blog 9 months following the book being published, I call it: The Journey Continues. Five years ago I was still grappling with the mental and emotional struggle of identifying with the truth of being an heir of God. I just couldn’t fathom this truth being real for me. God was using me and my story to reach people which I loved, but inside of me was still a chasm –a void–an emptiness from disbelief. It has taken another 5 years for God to prove to me the power of His Healing Love and the truth of His Word. Today I know I am a child of the King. Instead of doubt, I have such an overwhelming sense of gratitude!

I know I’ve written before about my prayer warrior and what a wonderful support she is. She is the one who more recently prayed over me about the three R’s: recognize, reject and replace. I was unable to find worthiness no matter how hard I tried. When I went to her with the fact that I recognized the lie I have believed for so long–the lie that I am unworthy and I had rejected it, I told her I didn’t know what to replace it with? How do I pray this prayer? She immediately prayed that God would replace it with self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence. That was only a couple months ago. Since that time, God has been filling this void within me with a love and appreciation for myself. It isn’t like what my dad always condemned about me. It is an understanding love that God made me who I am and gifted me the way He did to be an instrument of His Handiwork. With all of this I could be confident that, “He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.”

It truly is amazing to be 70 years old and feel vibrant inside due to God’s amazing love and healing. How much I want to praise Him!