The problem I mentioned yesterday is real and is likely to have some negative impact before it is resolved. I can’t at this time know the specifics of it and I find my emotions in a quandary because I’m usually in the arena of helping work through these types of issues. I know I’m to be present and to simply do what I can do. Waiting at a time like this is not easy, but I know it is right.

Tonight we have our restoration classes and we will step into the lessons for each one. Unless things change tonight, we will not have classes for each of the topics. People didn’t come last week for a couple of them. There are only two more sessions to see if anyone does come for them. I fight within myself and in my mind with the wonderment of people who know they need help but won’t step out for it. How I wish man were not so resistant at times like these. I know these are God’s areas so I let them go. However, my own spirit struggles within knowing that bondage is found to be a false protection until it becomes so great one can’t live with it any longer. I pray for these ones I know by name and for the multitude of those I don’t know at all. Pray with me, please.

Today begins Fall. I love the weather of Fall. I probably say this every start of it. I love cool mornings and heat in the day with the nights getting cool again. I am not a fan of what follows Fall, but I appreciate winter because every gardener knows the importance of a good one. The cycle of life continues!

Last night a received a couple of text messages which have greatly changed the course of this week. I am hoping to find out the reality of it today. Something is wrong and I’d appreciate knowing the details of it. Until then, I wait as patiently as I can.

This journey of life is all about man, flesh, selfishness, etc. Then God enters the picture and something far greater than man and his limitations becomes the purpose for living. Being awake now to my own flesh is causing me to finally understand that there is nothing in life that doesn’t connect to man’s flesh. I’ve lived so long in my tiny closet of denial thinking flesh was what I didn’t want so I wouldn’t be dad or my brother, then I awake to find Earnie’s flesh. It is just like all man’s flesh. However, this God of ours offers so much that attracts me. Living one day at a time, one moment at a time, takes on new meaning when it is all about surrendering the flesh I now know. I never want to slip back into the old life from which I came.

Yesterday turned out to be a good day in so many ways. Every chore I wanted to get done in the yard, garden and house got addressed. I even got the swimming pool winterized. The last thing on my list was getting my hair cut and that’s being done this afternoon. These times in my life are fun for me. I feel worthwhile when a day ends like this. Last night however, things changed. The darkness of day can often lead to darkness of soul. A phone call from someone I dearly care about makes a pleasant day turn to genuine turbulence.

As I began my bible reading this morning I read Proverbs 4:18. It says: “The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining brighter and brighter until midday.” Joyce Meyer writes her own comment to this scripture saying it is so nice to know that our path of life with Christ will grow brighter and brighter as we learn to follow Him rather than thinking we need to have Christ follow us. Turning to Christ is the right start, but staying with Christ throughout the day and following His nudges is critical if we want the Light of life to brighten as the day continues. This is a hard lesson to learn for we want to have our way so often in life. Christ is truly patient waiting for us to come to Him. I want to be better at this each day.

The beginnings of Fall have started. The much cooler nights, sunny days which are getting shorter and the hummingbirds leaving. I enjoy the cooler nights and mornings, but I never like to see the joy of the hummingbirds end.

The breakfast yesterday turned into a very lengthy conversation. I was so glad we got together. My friend seemed to be equally glad. I have been commenting of late on the flesh of man. The fact that now I know and believe I’m a new creation, awakens in me why I am a new creation–my old flesh is being overcome. I write this and even in so doing, I realize even more why I never thought I could be a new creation. How can one be a new creation when you are the sin of someone’s flesh? Not only are you the sin of someone else’s flesh, but the temptations are within you. These thoughts have haunted me my entire life. God is doing a miraculous healing for me in letting me now see the true sin nature of flesh, but with it, the truth that He sent His Son to pay the price of my sin, all sin. How I could know this for so many years but not believe it for me is one thing. To now know this and to now believe it is true for me feels like one tremendously huge miracle. I honestly feel clean!

Revelation 21:5 says: “…Behold, I make all things new.” This is what Jesus is doing for me–making all things new. How much I love Him for this!

My word, how have I lived so long and been so unaware of “the flesh” of man? It is simply amazing to me to finally, after realizing I am a new creation, awaken to the flesh of man. The flesh is the residence of our sin nature. It is where Satan attacks us. It is the place I’ve always lived but have always kept myself in denial to its existence in me until of late. If I had lived knowingly in my flesh, I’m not sure what I’d done with Earnie. I was too grounded in the awful belief that I would be just like my dad had been or like my brother had been. Now that the truth is known and I realize I am a new creation, I can be Earnie in my own flesh. The sad part of this is I do truly recognize my sin nature and my helplessness without the full surrender of it to Jesus Christ. Growing in my spiritual strength is where I am today. I’ll likely be here the rest of my life!

I’m leaving in a moment to meet a young man for breakfast who had come to our Celebrate Recovery until he moved farther away. I’m looking forward to renewing the connection of friendship with him. He truly has a heart for God but battles his own flesh. The beauty is he is open to talking about it. I’ll let Jesus take the lead from here.

This is the week of new beginnings. Tuesday we started the new groups for our restoration classes. Tonight we start the new year for Celebrate Recovery. It is a time of celebration and creating an atmosphere where Hope is transformed into reality. We are having several spontaneous, brief testimonies shared. Newcomers and those who haven’t attended very long will hear from those who are benefiting from taking the steps of recovery and willing to put words to what is happening in their lives because of their willingness to take these risks. It will truly be a night of celebration!

This afternoon I will facilitate a meeting for a neighboring school district that is attempting to rebuild their trust with their community/parents. A new superintendent has been hired and has asked me to do this. We have already met a couple times to prepare for it and now is the time for it to take place. It isn’t a setting where I can open in prayer, but I have already bathed it in prayer knowing The Holy Spirit is going to be the One I rely on as the meeting takes place.

The surrender of flesh, which has been on my heart and mind of late, is truly something I want to keep in the forefront of each day and during the day. I have spent my life suppressing the flesh instead of recognizing it and then surrendering it. This I am learning is the root of all addictions. I want my life to be a vessel filled with The Holy Spirit and where He is met by a willing servant ready to act on His nudges.

Wow, what an awakening Jesus can give us so early in the morning. It started for me when I had poured my first cup of coffee and began to read my devotion for today. It was entitled, The Transformed Life. It centered around Peter’s confusion/denial of Christ to the point of him becoming one of Christ’s best apostles. It ends with the words that Peter had learned to “die to self”.

I have heard this term of dying to self for much of my life and it resonates when I do hear it. However, this morning it did more than resonate within me. It has stuck! Celebrate Recovery’s very first lesson is called–Denial. It is all about our need to stop denying what we are hiding: an addiction, tremendous bitterness/hatred, ugly hurts from our past/present and so much more. Of late Jesus has been teaching me to quit denying my flesh and to realize I am a man of flesh. It doesn’t mean that in my flesh I will be like my brother or like my dad. In my flesh means that Earnie has temptations and it makes me human, not my brother or my dad. It is the result of being born into a sin nature. My brother and my dad were born into their own sin nature.

Today, this morning, I am challenged to take Peter’s assignment from Christ and “die to my flesh”. Now that I am no longer bound by the chains of abuse and addictions of the present, Christ wants me to die to my flesh. Here is what scripture says about this: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24. As long as I kept my past a secret, my addiction a secret, there was only bondage within me and I was a “grain of wheat” being held tightly in the grip of my own hands. As I’ve begun to step out and tell, seek help and surrender, I am planting my grain of wheat and it has begun to multiply. Now today, Christ is asking me to die to self, to deny my flesh. This is exactly what He did for me (us) when He went to the Cross. He could do this because He died to His own flesh so He could be totally obedient to God His (our) Father. Remember Christ’s words in the Garden of Gethsemane? He said, “Let this cup pass from me–nevertheless, not as I will but as Thou wilt.” He was dying to His own flesh.

I’m going to need to stay with this lesson the rest of my life. However, I do not want to lose sight of its critical importance to my relationship with Jesus Christ, God my Father and The Holy Spirit.

Last night a group of us met to talk through next steps in addressing what ones had learned and been inspired to address from the weekend. We want to keep support in place, but does it need to grow and if so, how? It was an insightful conversation where we were able to get “some ducks in a row” for next steps God is shedding Light upon. Tonight starts our restoration classes. I feel as though today starts a new year of recovery where restoration is the outcome where God’s children are being restored to Him in greater fullness. This was certainly the case for myself from last year’s class. Today I know I am a new creation where last year at this time I only knew this in my mind–my soul and spirit only hoped this was true.

I’ve also talked to Kathy about how we can have a stronger accountability between the two of us. We’ve stayed connected working together in our Celebrate Recovery ministry and the Restoration ministry, but our personal accountability is left to others. I was inspired to talk with her about mine better connecting with her–(this is exactly what Jesus told me I was to do, His idea, my action). I know God is using this time to not only grow us individually into stronger disciples for Him, but in so doing, He is equipping us to stand strong in the evil battles of today. We are in Satan’s fertile land of sin. He will do all He can to bind us to our own past sin/s. God wants us (me) ready for this and awake to the reality of it. I sure don’t want to be caught off-guard as I’ve been many times in my past. Today I stand with Jesus.

Typing 9/16/19 above in the title brings me back to home. It is my 2nd grandson’s birthday. Yes, I’ve bought his card and gift which he’ll get later today, but it also reminds me how important my grandkids are to me. The weekend has been so full, and this morning’s devotional time has been so rich in reflection of it, I hadn’t remembered until typing the date, what is important for this very day–my grandson. I never want to lose sight of my family!

Last night ended with a message entitled “Running the Race”. In it Christopher told how he does his work always having accountability close by. He never travels without his mom and usually his mom and dad. He knows his flesh. He spoke of Billy Graham and the fact he always traveled with a plan and firm boundaries to keep his flesh in check.

This morning in my devotional time I was reflecting on the key points of the weekend’s messages which I need to put into my own life. The one which struck me most is the plan to address our “flesh”. I’ve always had this fantasy idea that if God would make me a “new creation” my flesh would no longer have any power over me. However, I’ve learned that a new creation has power over the flesh through a strong and stable accountability system. It doesn’t deny their flesh, it recognizes it and addresses it. I can’t begin to tell you the fears I’ve had of “recognizing my flesh”. If I ever did I thought I’d end up being like my dad or my brother. What I’ve found is I’m Earnie. They were Harold and Rich. I simply need to hold Earnie accountable to Earnie’s flesh. This isn’t something to hide, it is something to be intentional about.

Jesus is the perfect example for us as someone who had a good accountability plan in place. Scripture tells us over and over how he came before His Dad every day and, some days, all through the night to get his plan in place for the next day/coming days. If we are going to run the race as Hebrews 12 tells us, we must have a plan in place which God has outlined for us through His Word and through our coming to His Son Jesus each and every day to confirm we are on track with Him. Then, have our human accountability in place so we don’t step out of the plan we want to complete from Jesus’ leadership in our life.

Have you ever been to a shelter to feed hungry people who don’t have a place called home? Have you ever been to a third world country and watched children who are finally given a full meal and witnessed their eyes, their actions, their eagerness and gratitude? Yesterday, I witnessed so many hungry people find their first real nourishment for a starvation that table food would never satisfy.

I knew that God had ordained this weekend with Christopher and his parents. I knew from the very start when the weekend we needed him to come was the only weekend he had available–this was going to be God’s moment! Yesterday was the day for so many hurting parents, friends and family members to be given Spiritual Food. This food didn’t satisfy a stomach’s hunger, it satisfied a soul which thought its loved one/s couldn’t be reached by the love I have to offer them. It was food that fed the mind with steps one could take to reach out to loved ones living in a sin which the world calls–choice and one that is good and acceptable. It is food that energizes one’s soul and spirit to know that I can put actions like a hug, a smile, a compliment and give it to someone who said they didn’t want to even see me.

Today a thousand and more will hear this story filled with hope and love. My heart rejoices, yet tears already form in my eyes knowing there are those whose hearts will wonder if this could ever be true for “me”? I pray God’s Light of Truth and Love will penetrate today to each listening heart so they will know this Truth is also for them!